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Sunday, 29 September 2013

Straight Up Reviews #9: Breaking Bad: Felina

Ok first of all I did not watch the entire series, however as I speak I am gonna go episode after episode to catch up to this.  Second of all I shall warn you.  Not only where they'll be spoilers, but there may be bad grammar and coarse language.  Because I am so fucking excited about this I might screw up.  Since odds are friends of mine who hasn't seen this show are gonna be reading this so I am gonna block out any spoiling test.  Be warned if you haven't seen the show, do not highlight over the blocks.  Like this.

For those who don't know what the hell I am talking about I'll give you a brief summary of the series.  In Albuquerque New Mexico, there lives a chemistry teacher named Walter White.  He is a mild mannered citizen with a loving wife, a snarky, but well meaning son who has cerebral palsy and a baby on the way.  His life seems complete, until around his 50th birthday.  He discovers he has lung cancer. Which not only means he is gonna die, but his impending death will leave his family in financial ruin.  During a ride-a-long with his DEA brother in law Hank, he discovers a former student of his: Jesse Pinkman is a cook/dealer in Methamphetamines aka Crystal Meth.  Rather than turn him in, Walter propositions Jesse for a partnership and cooks up a brand new batch.  This specific batch turns out to be the purist stuff on the market.  It is then and there that Walt and Jess go from two bit dealers, to the most well known well feared criminals in all of New Mexico.  However not all is good for Walt has to keep his secret life a...well secret from his family.  To make matters worse, Hank is in pursuit of the man responsible for the drugs and the crimes surrounding them.  He doesn't even know he is closer than he thinks.  This also sparks a change in Walt's personality as he goes from a loving family man, to an cold, ruthless crime lord.

Now I am only reviewing Felina because that is by far the best ending to a series to date and I'll tell you why.  It not only ties up the recent loose ends of the season, from Walt reconciling with his Wife Skyler, to destroying the Neo-Nazi Dealer's compound freeing Jesse from his....well what should I call it.  I guess the perfect thing to call it would be a Modern Day Equivalent to a concentration camp.  Even killing Lydia with the Ricin.  That was the icing on the cake for me because I hated that bitch.  I mean Walt and Sky were no fucking saint's themselves, but because of Lydia three men threatened a mother and a baby.  And the best part is, Lyd-bitch gets it worse than the others.  Though the others got it pretty bad.  You knew that M60 was gonna be used one way or another even if Walt gets' caught in the crossfire.  Anyway I ramble on.  The other loose ends get tied throughout all the seasons too.  Walt finally finds a way to give his family the money he intended, Skyler is finally free of prosecution, Walt risks it all to save Jesse and best part is, the cancer doesn't get him in the end.  I guess you could say this was Walt's Bizarro Doc Holliday moment.

All and all it not only gives solid answers rather than just pull a Sopranos and end in mid sent-----   Wow where the fuck did that come from? Anyway all loose ends are tied,  we get an ending that satisfies both sides of the fandoms and the moral guardian's can't say shit about the ending, because the bad guy they claimed is promoting meth use because of this show is now dead and buried.

All and all from what I seen so far between the pilot and the Felina I know that even though the show is over. It will have a lasting impact in our lives as well as the history of television. Now I know I am forgetting something. Oh yes that's it, now normally I would block this spoiler, but because it's coming very soon, it won't be a spoiler any longer. Saul will be back, as he get's his own spin off show. When you go on AMC be sure to tune in. I know I will, but until then I will watch every episode of every season of this show so I can finally catch up.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More. Oh and to any other defictionalizers out there I have this to say "Stay out of my Territory." Nah I'm just teasing, when it comes to making fiction real I need all the help I can get.

Saturday, 28 September 2013

Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker #20

This is by far my most laziest one, but I wanted to get some Exposition out of the way so enjoy. And it's Nintendo bought Sega, but I figured the other gun should be a ditz.

Friday, 27 September 2013

South Park

What started out as a video christmas card, ended up being a long running series rivaling that of the Simpsons and Family Guy.  South Park was well known for it's intelligent satirical status overshadowed by it's many controversial forms of humor.  From vulgar subjects such as kids swearing, sex and violence to political, religious and all around topics no other show dared to cross, this show has no sign of losing it's touch.  When I was a kid I first caught South Park on late night Teletoon (Canada's answer to Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon.).  My parents, went through great lengths to make sure I never watched the show in fear I would repeat some of the vulgar humor of that show.  When I was old enough, I was able to watch and understand it in all it's glory.  My mother even liked it and my grandmother was one of the only people in the world that could understand what Kenny was saying without any need to look at transcripts.  My mother even said that it was a hell of a lot better than Family Guy.  Still I watched South Park a lot earlier and never had my "Fragile little mind." shattered by it's effect.  That's bullshit and anyone who says otherwise I'll kick them Squahr in the Noots. Seriouisly.  Anywho onto the storyline.

The show surrounds the town of South Park Colorado.  4 foul mouthed eight year olds (Now 9 and one is 10)  Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflowski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick go on various misadventures.  Said adventures border between the following formulas:

1. Adult Stupidity gone horrifically wrong.
2. Supernatural figures influencing the world.
3. Politics going too far.
4. Religion related troubles.

And many more. 

Each boy has their own perosnality traits.

Stan, the unofficial leader of the group is essentially the most level headed. He tries to do what he feels is right and is often getting the most flack for it.

Kyle is Stan's best friend.  He is almost as level headed as Stan, but is easily lead to do stuff that is normally beneath him.  He is also Jewish and takes a lot of intolerant crap from the following next boy.

Cartman.  Where do I begin.  He is an overweight, spoiled, racist, greedy, sociopath, whose bigotry and temper get's the better of him.  Yet much of the lengths he goes through to achieve his goals, be it financial or political, we can't help but find him awesome.  He is the only person that Kyle would lose his composure against and sink low just to try to get him. 

And then there's Kenny.  Kenny is a poor kid who is the most mature.  Even if he does degrade to the same levels as Kyle and Cartman.  In the show's humble beginnings his existence was merely to get killed in various ways before they developed him.  You may now know him as Mysterion.

While the show does revolve around these characters mostly there are supporting characters both kid and adult that join in on the adventures.  From Randy Marsh, Stan's psycho manchild  of a father to Butters Stotch a kid whom has gone through so much it's a wonder he didn't snap; they all serve a purpose in either teaching the kids valuable lessons, or give them a reason to hate them.

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life? Yes.

First let's start with the main 4.

Stan and Kyle are their creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone respectively.  While they never truly met each other, until college. Much of what their characters' appearance and traits are based off of their experiences since they were kids.  Trey's father, who was also a geologist was the main inspiration for Randy Marsh.

Cartman is actually a composite character. Partial inspiration of him was based around Trey and Matt believing that they could make a character like All In The Family's Archie Bunker and make him a kid.  However the rest was based off all the darkest traits of humanity itself.  Greed, Racism, Selfishness, you name it, every bad trait  a human can be called out for, is personified by this person.  We cheer him on despite our hatred of him because in a way he is us.  Our bad side.  For example Cartman's hatred of Hippies stems from Trey's real life hatred of Hippies.

Last but not least is Kenny.  He was actually based off a childhood friend of Trey and Matt's.  Every Trait from his Orange Parka, his mumbled speech, his reputation for poverty and his tendancy of getting killed a lot. (The latter of which was mostly due to his absence from school.).  He is also another surrogate of us.

Now for the final question of the day.  Could South Park Colorado Exist in Real Life?  The answer is yes. If you are ever in Colorado, take the Route 285 near Denver.  There you'll find a grassland Basin.  Trey and Matt also stated that much of the fictional version of the Basin's history of weird shit was based around UFO sightings found in that particular Basin.  I theorize that South Park did exist as a town at one point and it was destroyed by said UFOs or sent to an alternate dimension and that most of the weird and stupid things happening to the town is the result of a Time Rift ala Torchwood.  Which I will get into soon.  But then again, it's word of mouth so I wouldn't really know unless I see for myself.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.  OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY, YOU BASTARDS!!!!

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Straight Up Reviews #8 The Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures Video Game

I've only pre-ordered this a few weeks ago and just started playing at the time of this post, so it's gonna be brief.  First and foremost, anyone who wants to know about the Angry Video Game Nerd, but don't want to go all the way to the CIEIR Analysis I wrote in regards to this, here is a brief summary:  Man plays video game, man loses video game, man goes into screaming fit and smashes the game, man get's drunk to ease the pain, man occasionally gets attacked by a monster or a guest star related to game. Anywho AVGN has had a big legacy on the internet webvideo community so much like his upcoming film, a game would be inevitable. While not the first game to involve the titular Nerd it was the first to be officially licensed by James Rolfe's company Cinemassacre as well as the first Webseries related game to be put on a major console. That's right folks, this game was so hyped that it was put on the Wii-U.  Fuck Yeah!!!! My version was ordered off of a site called Steam.

The game's story goes like so:  The Angry Video Game Nerd and his friends are playing a really crappy game like usual.  However a freak accident causes them to be sucked into the game.  The Nerd must travel through and beat the game in order to get home.

The Gameplay itself is reminiscent of the old 8-Bit NES games in both graphics and Chiptune style sounds and music.  Special mention goes to the level selection because it's essentially a MegaMan style level select.  This allows you to select any level rather than just simply progress.

While it encourages you to use a controller ala XBox 360 on the PC version, you can use a keyboard for the desired effect.

I only have control of the Nerd, you can overtime control other characters such as The Bullshit Man and Recurring Character actor/Title Card Artist, Mike Matei.  Speaking of which I been hearing that Matei's been getting a bad rep for appearing in the Nerd videos too many times.  That is fucking stupid and I'll tell you why:

1. He has been around since the beginning of AVGN, he's done the Title Cards and he's even played some of the "Guest Characters" that have appeared to torment or help The Nerd.  The others being Music Composer Kyle Justin and Movie Co-Writer Kevin Finn.

2.  People seem to forget that while they are fans of the show, they do not own the Show,  AGVN and it's affiliate shows are all owned by Cinemassacre and James Rolfe.  Please Support the official release........I always wanted to say that.  Anywho, the point is, it's James show and the decision of who should be on it is up to James Rolfe, not his fans.

3.  He's James friend,  what James did in the end is pretty heartwarming as many people in his position in fame would stomp on anyone they perceive as "In their way."  Regardless if it's friend and family.  Rolfe is not one of those people.

Anywho back on topic.  The first level I played after the Tutorial, was apply titled "Assholevania"  In reference to his first Skit, which the Nerd reviews Simon's Quest, the Sequel to Castlevania.  The level was hell to beat as much like the game it parodied, I had to endure annoying Medusa heads and axe throwing knights.   Lucky for the Nerd he has his Trusty Zapper in hand.  The boss I fought was none other than Mr. Hyde which was a reference to his second skit.  He was difficult to beat at first but once I got the pattern down he was easy. I won't spoil it any further but I will give you a clue, Castlevania 2 Dracula.

So far aside from slight difficulties, the game isn't as bad as most people feared, it was well created, has a decent storyline and a few funny tidbits such as the Nerd doing his classic "I would rather..." if you die.

I encourage all to at least try the game out.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More and play those shitty games that suck ass.

Update: Fair Warning, while the game is a good play, expect to swear a lot in it as you are given the full nerd experience. 

Sunday, 22 September 2013


Well after The Wall I thought it would be cool to do more music related deficts.  This one is called Tommy.  Written in 1969 by Pete Townshend and performed by his band, The Who, this particular album was what started Rock Operas, which paved the way for others like The Wall.  This has spawned one album,  three stage versions and a film in 1975 starring the lead singer Roger Daltrey as the titular character, with an all-star cast in tow, from other singers such as Tina Turner and Elton John to other actors such as Jack Nicholson and Olver "Bill Sykes" Reed. It was only a few years ago that I seen this particular version  and I loved every minute of it. Fair warning, there will be spoilers.

The story goes like so.  It is WWI (WWII in the movie.) A British army soldier named Captain Walker is missing and presumed dead.  His widow has given birth to their son, Tommy.  As she moves on with another man, Walker comes home and in the heat of the moment kills her lover in front of Tommy. (In the movie it was the other way around and the Lover killed him.)  While that is bad enough as it is, the two demand Tommy that he didn't see, nor hear nor will speak of the evil act that has happened.  This in turn makes him blind, deaf and mute which goes on through his adulthood.  The parents out of their own guilt try to cure him through many means:  From the use of religion to Hallucinogenic Drugs.  What they don't know, is that Tommy in his own mind has experienced a form of enlightenment.  This particular form influences him through the use of mirrors.   During such a trip he stumbles upon a pinball machine using his senses of Touch and Smell to get the high score.  He becomes an instant superstar and his parents live a life of luxury, but still want to help him.  It wasn't until a freak accident with a broken mirror, that he is able to see and hear and speak once more and uses his new-found enlightenment to try to influence others.

Now for the fun part,  Could It Exist In Real Life?   The answer is yes.

First and foremost is Tommy's condition.  It is possible to make someone blind deaf and mute psychologically.  In Tommy's case, the Trauma of witnessing a murder, plus the guilty parties demanding that he didn't see, hear or will say anything about it, put him in a state of Catatonia. In other words his mind shut his body down for the most part.  Because he couldn't see outside he could only see in his own mind, so much of what he experiences mentally is a mix between sleepwalking and lucid dreaming. 

Second, his skills in Pinball.  Now this is not as farfetched as it sounds, but there is a way to play arcade and other games even if you are blind, deaf and mute physically as well as mentally.  This particular method comes from martial arts and it is known as sensitivity training.  It's where you use a sense of touch to get a perspective of the world surrounding you.  This could start as subtle things like feeling around with your hands or a cane.  As well as more complex things such as using every nerve on your body. 

Last but not least is Tommy himself, he can exist.  The most famous example is Hellen Keller.  However unlike Tommy her condition was not psychological, nor was it cured....for the most part.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.  I'm free and I'm waiting for you to follow me.

Thursday, 19 September 2013

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Who Goes There? Aka The Thing From Another World Aka John Carpenter's The Thing

Oh boy where do I begin?  This story was around since 1938 so it's over 3 quarters of a century old.  It has had 3 movies, 2 sequel comic series, 1 sequel video game and a hell of a cult following.  It would have been better if not for a certain Jaws Director making aliens friendly.  Ah but I kid, Spielberg isn't to blame, but rather the audience for our one track mind of thinking all aliens are cute, cuddly creatures that want to be friends.  They did not fair well with the Thing despite it made 3 years after the first Alien and 4 years away from the Second Alien movie.  Plus a boatload of B-Movies prior to it.  Now that I am done insulting the audience yet again let's dig into the stories.  I say it in plural because there are so damn many. Spoilers ahead.

First is Who Goes There?  Set in Antarctica in the 1930s an American Research Outpost discovers a spaceship that they accidentally destroy it trying to uncover it. But thanks to their luck, they discover an alien muppet instead.  Said muppet is thawed out against better judgement and it begins devouring and imitating the crew.   Paranoia ensues as the survivors begin to distrust one and other as anyone or many of them could be The Thing.

The next story is, The Thing From Another World.  This Thing is very different from the one in Who Goes There as it's a Humanoid being that feeds on the blood of the living.  Like the original Thing, it can reproduce even when it's been dismembered and regenerate.  However unlike the Original thing, only electricity can kill it. There is also the distinct difference of this one landing in the Arctic Circle.

The third story was the one of Carpenter fame. It pretty much adapts the Novella more, but also modernizes it taking place in the 80s rather than 30s.  It also has the distinction of the American Crew not being the first people to uncover The Thing, as the Norweigen crew uncovers it prior.

Then there is the Prequel in 2011 which depicts said Norweigen Crew uncovering The Thing.  This one is well hated, but I don't see why and I'll explain in the CIEIR segment of this article.

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?

The Answer is yes. 

First for arguments sake let's start with the first movie adapation Thing.  In the Thing From Another World, the titular alien is revealed to be vegetable based.   Upon searching for evolved living plants I stumbled upon a pet science project of our old friend Destination Creation.  They came up with a project that you can try at home in which you can fuse hair follicles of human DNA with that of a Fern plant.  The resulting mix creates a plant that can react to tactile contact by contracting itself.  Much like the alien, it is vulnerable to electricity as well since plants react violently to it. 

The next is the Original Thing itself.  The one from the short story and movies.  This one can exist in various ways.  The Muppet like one is an evolved Chameleon.  Many chameleons, can change their colors to match their surrounding environment.   Whereas this one can take a step further and literally copy anything from whatever it either touches and eats.  The other side of the thing is much more sinister, as it is a cross between a virus and a fungus.  A virus slowly kills it's infected host in order to survive, whilst a fungus can survive off of it living or dead.  The scary part is it could be any size from a small microscopic bacteria to a big lump of cells. Much like the story, fire and electricity can kill it as it destroys it on a cellular level.  Now here is the more scary part.  According to Darwin, we all evolved from single celled organisms. So in a way we all are Things. 

Last but not least in the matter is where it came from.  Who Goes There? hinted that the alien came from a planet with a blue sun.  Which seems impossible.  Yes there are solar systems with a blue sun, but those stars are over 18 000 kelvin, which is hotter than our own sun.  However as Jeff Goldblum once said. "Life finds a way."

Now I haven't done a final thought for a while but in this case there was one thing that bugged me.  This one is about how hated the prequel is.  Yes no one can really hold a candle to the likes of Howard Hawks or John Carpenter.  Yes compared to the practical effects the CGI is stupid,  however one thing I can disagree on is the way the Thing is portrayed.  In the Carpenter one, it is portrayed as cunning and silent, never really openinly attacking a group unless it's exposed.  While in the Prequel it attacks every ten seconds.  But there is a reason and Kurt Russell said it:

MacReady: I don't know. Thousands of years ago it crashes, and this thing... gets thrown out, or crawls out, and it ends up freezing in the ice.
Childs: I just cannot believe any of this voodoo bullshit.
Palmer: Childs, happens all the time, man. They're falling out of the skies like flies. Government knows all about it, right, Mac?
Childs: You believe any of this voodoo bullshit, Blair?
Palmer: Childs, Childs... Chariots of the Gods, man. They practically own South America. I mean, they taught the Incas everything they know.
Garry: So, come on now, MacReady, Norwegians get ahold of this... and they dig it up out of the ice.
MacReady: Yes, Garry, they dig it up, they cart it back, it gets thawed out, wakes up - probably not the best of moods - I don't know, I wasn't there!
Nauls: [skates in with ripped long johns] Which one of you disrespectful men been tossing his dirty drawers in the kitchen trash can, huh? From now, I want my kitchen clean, all right? Germ free!
Childs: So how's this motherfucker wake up after thousands of years in the ice?
George Bennings: And how can it look like a dog?
MacReady: I don't know how. 'Cause it's different than us, see? 'Cause it's from outer space. What do you want from me? Ask him!
[motions to Blair]
Childs: You buy any of this Blair?

The Thing just woke up it was too pissed off to care if anyone noticed it, but later on in the movie it calmed down.  It also explains why it became this big monster in the end of the first. MacCready kept foiling it to no end and it became pissed off again.  Hell the first line describing it in the movie was that it was "Weird and pissed off."

Now here's another thought, something that's been bugging me since I seen all of them.  While I know this was unintentional in the Novelists and filmmakers part, but while on record the John Carpenter's Thing is a remake, it really isn't. I can singlehandedly prove that from Who Goes there to the Prequel, that this entire thing is one big coherent storyline with a simple timeline.

Who Goes There? takes place in the 1930s.
 The Thing From Another World Takes  place in the 1950s.
The Prequel and Carpenter's film Takes place in the Early 80s.

Before I tell the whole story you gotta be willing to suspend your disbelief on this one.

Here goes....

For starters 3 ships crashed on earth.  The first was the Who Goes There? Thing.  The Second was the Carpenter thing.  Both Crashed into the Antarctic thousands of years before the events of Who Goes There?  Now there has been ongoing debate that the Thing was a prisoner on the Carpenter ship being transported.  I believe that theory as we never see any alien pilots on either ship. The Who Goes There? Thing is discovered first in the 1930s and it was promptly destroyed.  The Survivors were not infected and they did find a way home.  Then the 3rd Ship crashed into the Arctic in the 50s.  While the monster was called The Thing, it was not really a thing, but rather a space cop pursuing the thing for a very long time and crashing the ship in the wrong place.  It couldn't be reasoned with due to both language barrier and it's own paranoia that the people on the Arctic were infected.  Sound familiar? It should because that's also the opening of the 1980s Thing.  Anyone who speaks Norwegian could tell you that while the actions were aggressive, that the Norwegian outpost guy (Lars if you watched the movie.) Was trying to warn the Americans that the dog they were chasing was not a real dog.   They were warning, but when they weren't heeded, they decided it was best to kill the dog and anyone that tried to stop them.

Now I know what you're thinking "If they all take place in the same Timeline how come no one talks about the events of Who Goes There?"  Now let me ask you something even with the tech you bring with you, back to the mainlands as evidence would they believe you if you told them "An alien monster tried to eat us and copy us?" You'd get laughed at, committed or worse case scenario erased by any local MIB. Same goes with the Howard Hawk's Thing.  We only got the ending where he said "Watch The Skies."  It was left ambiguous to whether or not the people they were Radioing believed them or not.

As usual, debate, argue, and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.   The Thing is out there, it could be you.  Say do me a favor and hand me that flame thrower.

Update: There was one thing I forgot to mention.  When Carpenter's flick came out, people hated it, but throughout history they started to like it, when the game sequel came out it was considered one of the worst games ever made, yet some still liked it for the command functions and trust feature.  When the prequel came out it was hated for not  being like the Carpenter flick. Yet over time people began to like it and even stated some of it's good points.  Maybe Thing exists in a meta sense as well, assimilating formally hateful audiences and converting them into fans. That's something, you the readers out there should think about.

Monday, 16 September 2013

The Wraith

Before Charlie Sheen was winning, he was winning, in a race of course.  The Wraith is one of those movies that many people have not really heard of, but when they find out they think "Why the fuck don't more people watch this?" Mainly because it has a great plot, an all star cast, a kick ass soundtrack and a lot of cool classic cars.  I mentioned this as one of my guilty pleasures at number 8 and I stick by my choice at the lowest, because it's not bad enough of a movie to be considered a guilty pleasure.  Unlike much of the stuff I analyzed this had nothing else to show for it, no games, no cards, just a movie and hint of a sequel, but that's not going anywhere anytime soon.  Fair warning there will be spoilers.

The story goes like so,  Packard Walsh (Played by Notebook Director Nick Cassavettes) is a Road Pirate who leads a gang of misfits to challenge people to drag races.  Said racers lose their cars as collateral.  Said gang is comprised of:

Skank: A mohawk sporting mechanic that has an addiction to car related chemicals.
Gutterboy: Skank's friend, who is rather simple minded and easily scared.
Rughead: A nerdy mechanical genius who makes gadgets and improvements to the gang's cars.
Oggie: A hot headed underling.
Minty: A letterman sporting underling.

Packard is also very controlling of his self proclaimed girlfriend Keri Johnson (Played by Twin Peaks fame Sherilyn Fenn) a nice girl who works as a rollerskate waitress at a local burger shack.

One afternoon after Packard's latest race, a stranger rides into town on a motorcycle.  His name is Jake Kesey (Played by Charlie Sheen.)  He decides to spend his screen time courting Keri despite her reluctance due to Packard's obsessive need to control her.  As well as the fact that she lost a boyfriend to murder, Jamie Henkins, brother of her boss Billy Henkins.  No one knows who did it, but the town is too griped in fear of Packard's gang to find out.  To make matters more strange, a mysterious car appears out of nowhere challenging Packard's gang to a race.  One by one each member is dispatched by the driver.  The Sheriff Loomis (Played by Randy Quaid.) demands answers, but could really care less as it's only Packard's gang this figure is after.  As more bodies turn up, the link between Packard and this killer uncovers more as he tries to find out who it is before he is next. 

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?

Now first let's talk about the car.  In my guilty pleasures article, I already hinted what the car was. But after a few days I shall tell you not only does it exist, but it goes by the same name as the movie.  The car is called th Dodge M4S or as the movie refers to: The Turbo Interceptor.  It was a pace car developed by Dodge and PPG industries and could go up to 195 MPH at top speed.  However, because Dodge never planned it to be a serial car there are only 4 out there in existence.

Lastly let's talk about The Wraith itself.  In the movie, The Wraith is the name of the driver of the car, clad in black, armed with a laser shotgun and can never die even though his car gets destroyed constantly.  While those that have watched the movie know who he is and why he's after Packard's gang. What he is has been discussed too many times.  Some say he is a ghost with super advanced tech.  Kinda like Spawn.  Others say he was raised from death by aliens.  I say otherwise.  I been looking up various different myths on vengeful spirits and only one came to mind. The one in particular is called an Onryo.  Which is a spirit that has been killed violently and is able to cross into the physical world, never resting until it's business is finished.  Much like NIMH's magic being an advanced science as I implied, I imply the reverse in this case as this spirit's car and tech is a form of Technomancing or machine magic in layman's terms.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More.   Oh and if you see a turbo passing your way do not be afraid.  If you done nothing wrong, you got nothing to fear.

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Friday The 13th

I was originally gonna post this one on a Friday the 13th but I missed it.  Damn I feel so stupid.  Anywho, What started out as a knock off of Halloween became one of the greatest Horror franchises in the world.  This has had 10 movies, 1 Reeboot, 1 crossover event with Freddy Krueger, an infamous NES game (See AVGN for that nonsense.)  and a shitload of Novels and Comics. This was made by the other half of the Last House On The Left Team Sean S. Cunningham.  The first half being Freddy's own creator Wes Craven.  When people think Friday The 13th they think of this series.  While I do claim spoilers on this, if you don't know this by now, you must be living in a cave.

The series goes like so.  The year is 1958 on Friday the 13th and an unknown assailant stalks the grounds of Camp Crystal Lake in Wessex County, New Jersey.  Said assailant checks on the sleeping children before stalking two counselors who were just moments away from having sex.  Gotta hand it to this killer, doesn't even wait for them to get started.  Most of them just wait till the deed is done.  21 years later Camp Crystal Lake is undergoing renovations by Steve Christy of the Christy family who owns these grounds.  He enlists the help of 6 teenagers who also double as counselors.  This camp was named "Camp Blood" due to a series of disasters that plagued it since 1957. Among them are a boy drowning, the murders of the mentioned two in '58, a series of fires and poisoned water in the '61.  As if that weren't enough some of the locals discourage anyone to go near the place.  Including local nut Crazy Ralph, who stalks the grounds to warn everyone of the "Death Curse".  One by one, Steve and each teenager bites the dust (including the iconic arrow in the throat courtesy of Tom Savini and Kevin Bacon.)  until one remains, Alice.  As she searches for aid she runs into a kindly old lady, Mrs. Voorhees.  While showing the nice lady the results of the massacre, she laments a story about the boy who drowned, his name was Jason.  It was then and there she slowly reveals herself to be the killer and it becomes a fight to survive.   Alice gets her in the end, but that just makes things worse.  For Jason, who miraculously survived and is an adult witnessed the whole thing.  This in turn, starts a path for him to become the undead killer we know and love. 

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with the location, Crystal Lake.  Not only does it exist, but like Elm Street there is more than one.  But to be specific, there is a Crystal Lake Park in New Jersey.

Second is Mrs. Voorhees.  While there is not a specific example, what she is could exist.  She's not a deranged psychopath as her reasons for her actions are very sane.  She is a mother.  Believe it or not, a mother is the most dangerous animal known to mankind.  They can be any species, any shape, size you name it and the instinct is still the same: Harm their child in anyway and nothing can stop them.

Third and finally is Jason Voorhees himself.   Now when it comes to Jason Voorhees, there are a few factors to take into account.  First and foremost what he was in life. Many mediums have pointed out that he had both the physical disfigurements and mental disorders before his drowning.  He has an abnormally large heart as seen in Jason Goes To Hell.  More visibly though is his facial deformity.  He suffers from Hydrocephalus, also known as Water On The Brain. Which is because of an abnormal amount of the natural brain fluid that keeps the brain from hitting the skull. This in turn causes the head to swell, sometimes in uneven spots. This also has been known to be a leading cause of mental disorders due to the fluid's pressure on the brain.  Which explains Jason's rather simplistic mentality as he has no remorse for killing, but is highly resourceful in his methods. The second factor to account for, is the circumstances surrounding his drowning.  Now many people would argue that he died then and there and resurrected, but I say otherwise.  There is a well known phenomenon known as Mammalian Diving Reflex, in which mammals can survive long periods of time underwater even with water in the lungs.  In Jason's case he survived long enough for the lake's natural current to wash him up to the nearest shore.  Hence why no body was found when the cops investigated his drowning.  As for how he survived all those years, Paul in the second movie said it. ".....stalking, stealing what he needs living off wild animals and vegetation."  As for how he survived 2 and 3 that can also be explained.  Much of the wounds Jason sustained have been nonfatal,  even the axe in his head in 3.  See the excess fluid in his head also doubles as extra padding, not to mention the partial protection from his hockey masks.  Those things were designed to have a 100 mile an hour hard rubber puck to hit you in the face with no harm.  Due to that he only sustained a flesh wound.  It wasn't until Final Chapter when Tommy Jarvis (Future vampire hunter Corey Feldman) put him down for good.  That was until the 6th movie that is.  Now we get into the final factor, his resurrection.  Now this was debated over and over but there is a rather subtle clue which actually cross over into another series I may soon cover later on.  In Jason Goes To Hell, while investigating the Voorhees home, there was a basement.  Inside it was a bunch of ritualistic items, one of which was a book.  Specifically Necronomicon Ex Mortis aka the Book of The Dead of evil dead fame.  This was later expanded upon in the Freddy Vs Jason Vs Ash series, implying that Mrs. Voorhees tried to use it to bring Jason back.  It didn't work because he wasn't dead yet.  It wasn't until part 6, when Jarvis accidentally completed the unseen ritual that not only brought Jason back, but also made him stronger than ever.  This made Jason a Wendigo, a demonic entity that can possess humans living or dead which exists in legends most of them attributing to cannibalism.  However due to how sloppy said ritual became, rather than be fully posessed, Jason retains it's powers of immortality and strength making him only half.  It wasn't until Jason Goes To Hell that he became a full Wendigo possessing humans before getting his own body back through his bloodline.  However unlike most examples of Wendigo, Jason is no cannibal.  As for the Necronomicon, wait till I cover Evil Dead on that subject.

As usual, debate argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More and be warned.  Jason's out there.

Saturday, 14 September 2013


What started out in DC Comics as a foil to the Swamp Thing in 1988 became a big staple in the early 90s for Alan Moore Since Killing Joke and Watchmen before it in Vertigo Comics.  Hellblazer right now has up to 300 comics in it's mainstream series, as well as a not so recieved adaptation starring Keanu Reeves as the titular character.   Now before you Alan Moore fans reenact the police riot scene from Watchmen near my home, let me explain.  I got introduced to Hellblazer through the movie and I like the movie more than the comic.  Mainly because I already seen too many bad examples of magician style superheroes.  Zatanna Zatara being one of them in my opinion.  Now before you lynch me, read The New Teen Titans comics and Identity Crisis and you'll see why.   Anywho, you are probably wondering why I am bothering with this.  Well there was a bit of a surprise when I first looked it up and said surprise was one of the main inspirations to do this blog.

Ok the story goes like so, Hellblazer is set in a pocket universe within the mainstream DC where magic exists and none of the Mainstream DC heroes are there to fight evil.  In it John Constantine has set himself up to be a confidence man, who did morally questionable things for the greater good.  While adept at magic he has often used his intelligence and cunning skills to deceive his enemies, from petty demons to the Gods themselves.  While no superheroes existed in his universe plenty have shown up.  From Zatanna, to most Famously The Swamp Thing.   Ya the less you hear about Swamp Thing's "Friendship" with Constantine the better.  Let's just say when Swamp thing wanted a child with his girlfriend, but couldn't do the deed himself, he called Constantine.

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life.

First and foremost the painfully obvious, DC and Vertigo's settings for Hellblazer took place in a pocket dimension.  I already told you all about the multiverse in my Last Action Hero analysis.  So no going down that road, but the pocket dimension also applies to my transportation theories in Tron and Pokemon. 

The Second is the magical elements and entities.  While that's debatable, much of the elements including heaven and hell are based off myths and legends of the real world.  So obviously I consider myths to have truth to them.  Characters such as the Antichrist and Archangel Gabriel are exaggarations of their real world myth personas, who want to please their respective fathers, but end up pissing them off instead.  To put it lightly.

Last but not least we have John Constantine himself, not only does he exist, but his own creator seen him.  In 1993 Alan Moore had this to say in Wizard Magazine.  
"One day, I was in Westminster in London—this was after we had introduced the character—and I was sitting in a sandwich bar. All of a sudden, up the stairs came John Constantine. He was wearing the trenchcoat, a short cut—he looked—no, he didn't even look exactly like Sting. He looked exactly like John Constantine. He looked at me, stared me straight in the eyes, smiled, nodded almost conspiratorially, and then just walked off around the corner to the other part of the snack bar.
I sat there and thought, should I go around that corner and see if he is really there, or should I just eat my sandwich and leave? I opted for the latter; I thought it was the safest. I'm not making any claims to anything. I'm just saying that it happened. Strange little story."

If that wasn't enough he met him once again in 2001 which he states "Years later, in another place, he steps out of the dark and speaks to me. He whispers: 'I'll tell you the ultimate secret of magic. Any cunt could do it.' "

Now that is awesome.  Stan Lee may have an astounding record for how many times he's cameoed in Marvel's many cinematic adaptations good and bad.  Moore tops it by meeting his creation in the flesh.

As usual, debate argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.

Friday, 13 September 2013

Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker #18

S.T. is checking on Natalie and the Zapper, I figured a little humor would quell the over all dark that I did in the last comic.

Thursday, 12 September 2013


Akira was once considered, "The Godfather" of Anime.  Which shows in more ways than one.  The first being that it was long as hell (2 Hours to be exact.), everything was well detailed and to top it off every single character of the movie had their own story to tell before they intertwined.   This started out as a manga series made by the director of the film. Katsuhiro Otomo which is a Rarity since most Manga writers are only consultants during adaptaitons. While successful, Akira's franchise is rather small,  one manga series, 2 video games, 3 versions of the movie, 2 of which are different English adaptations and a live action film currently in development hell.

The story goes like so.  The year is 2019, Neo-Tokyo was just finished rebuilding itself after an explosion in 1988 triggered World War III.  However all is not peaceful as there are certain struggles, such as an anti government protest group, biker gangs that are at war with one and other and a cult that worships Akira who may have been the one responsible for said.  Much of the events surround a local Biker Gang called the Capsules.  Specifically their leader Shotaro Kaneda and his friend Shima Tetsuo.  The latter of which is always picked on, by everyone.  During a routine war with a rival gang, The Clowns, Tetsuo's bike almost runs over a kid and is promptly blown up.  But to everyone's surprise, Tetsuo is still alive and is captured by the military along with the kid, who upon closer inspection is grey skinned and looks 40 years of age despite being the size of a small child.  The military, under the supervision of Colonel Shikishima runs some tests on Tetsuo and top scientist Doctor Onishi discover that the kid has powers similar to the mysterious Akira.  These powers range from mind reading, telekinesis and possible reality bending.  As Kaneda tries to find out what happened to Tetsuo he runs into Kei, a woman who is a member of the anti government group.  He is immediately smitten with her, but it's not quite returned, but she becomes a valid ally in helping him find his friend.  Tetsuo discovers his power after fighting the Espers, three kids one of which he seen during his crash.  He of course wants to find Akira in hopes to try to find out what he is.  It is now an all out war between Kaneda who feels he should kill Tetsuo in an act of mercy, The Espers who blame themselves for Tetsuo and The Neo-Tokyo Army who want to destroy Tetsuo before he finds Akira hoping to avert another city wide destruction.

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with the most Iconic thing about Akira.  Kaneda's bike.  Not only does it exist, but many people since the movie have tried to make their own.

Last is the Military and Scientists that try to study psychic phenomena.  I was originally gonna say it was Princeton's PEAR organization. However I found a better example.  Project Stargate.  A real life CIA and DIA research team designed to investigate and research claims of Psychic Phenomena all over the U.S.  This particular group started in the 1970s but was terminated in 1995.  13 years after this movie was made. Claiming lack of evidence.

As usual debate argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More......Oh alright.  TETSUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Peter and Wendy

Now normally I don't insult my readers on subjects unless maybe a fan related thing, but if no one by now has heard this story I gotta say unless you are living in a cave, with no means of contact of the outside world, from TV to internet you are officially the biggest moron since Wheatly.  Why? Because there is not one person in this world, the next, heaven and hell that doesn't know this story.  Which by now is 109 years old.  Peter Pan has been a play, a series of novels, various movies and unofficial sequels,  TV Shows including the recent Neverland, games, theme park attractions and many more.   This was considered James Barrie's most iconic story and has been the inspiration of many mediums, including my favorite game series Legend of Zelda.  When I first saw this series it was through three mediums at all different points of my childhood.  The first being Fox's short lived Peter Pan and The Pirates, The second was the 1953 Disney Animated feature and the third one was Hook with Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman.

The story goes like so.  The Darling Family in England, a relatively nice bunch, but have had recent problems.  Mostly because their children, Wendy the oldest sister and two brothers, John the eldest and Michael the youngest.  While Wendy is the more reasonable and responsible one they all have one thing in common: they all love to tell stories about Peter Pan.  A supposedly imaginary figure that flies and can never grow up.  However their imaginations have been known to cause so much mischief, that  their father George insists on them all growing up.  Claiming that Peter Pan is nothing but poppycock.  As they leave the kids alone for a party, Peter Pan happens to show up looking for his shadow, along with his fairy companion Tinkerbell; whom unbeknownst to him, is in love with him and will destroy anyone that interferes with that.  When he finds out what George told Wendy and the kids, he has had enough and decides to take them to Neverland where he came from.  A magical land full of Pirates, Natives and Mermaids among most things, but most importantly, you never have to grow up.   Upon planning the trip, the kids discover the source of Peter Pan's flight abilities, Pixie dust from Tinkerbell herself and happy thoughts.  When they arrive they are accosted by Captain Hook, a mean pirate who wants revenge on Pan for cutting his hand off and feeding it to Tick Tock, the crocodile.

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with the elements in Neverland, The Natives, Pirates, Mermaids and Pixies.  The Natives and Pirates are real as they are just stereotypical exaggerations of their real world counterparts.  Hook himself the smarter of the bunch, wasn't even based off pirates at all but a famous explorer James Cook who was the first to travel to Austrailia and has also fought in the Seven Years War.

The other two mermaids and Pixie Fairies, are a bit of a mixed bag.  Anyone who read my Justice League analysis would find that they could exist.  But only if you prove the existence of Atlantis.   However there is also the off chance of real mermaids caught on tape, if those turn out not to be hoaxes.

As for the Pixies, much like the Picori and Fairies they are a branch of another entity known as elementals.

Next we have the concept of Pixie Dust,  a substance that is supposed to help you fly.  There is a substance similar to that and you don't need happy thoughts to power it.  It's called helium.  However you can't put it on or in any part of your body to make you fly, as that would kill you, or at the very least make your voice high pitched.  But if you put enough of it in a balloon strong enough,  you can.  I advise you not to try this at home unless you are a qualified skydiver.

Then we have Neverland itself.  It can Exist.  Now your first thoughts would be, Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch which is now kept alive by joint efforts of his own kids and Lady Gaga.  However since this is tainted by such controversy I can't use that as an example even though the Story's Neverland had some dark elements to it.   So upon searching for a real life Neverland I stumbled upon a project developed in Copenhagen Denmark.  It is a city built exclusively for children.  If that is not the closest thing to a real Neverland, I don't know what is.

As for Peter Pan himself, he can exist, for he is not just one person.  He is all of us,   the inner childhood that on the outside we try to suppress, but inside we know full off how impossible that is.  As if not for our childhoods we wouldn't be here today.  Our imaginations are what drive us and motivate us to do good in life.  Deep down we are all still the kids that we used to be, we just need that push to show it more.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More. Oh and don't say you don't believe in fairies, somewhere an elemental falls down dead.

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Spirited Away

What started as a dedication to family friends, became the first Anime to ever receive an academy award.  Spirited Away was considered to be one of Anime's greatest milestones.  It was produced by Studio Ghibli and directed by Anime God Hayao Miyazaki, this film is what caused a lot of revolutions in the anime world and animation in general.  It was one of many joint efforts between Disney and Ghibli, which in turn made them partners. I first saw this movie in film class, where we did a session on animated movies and I was amazed.  At the time I did not know Hayao or Ghibli, but I knew Disney was the reason it was introduced in the west.   To my surprise it was one of the few things during the Eisner Period that wasn't altered.  Meaning they could say die, they could show blood and it wasn't too cutesy or cut up like most animes in the late 90s - 2000s.  That was because Pixar's John Lasseter was a hardcore fan of Miyazaki and risked his reputation to share his love of it with us the audience.  Needless to say it worked.

The story goes like so.  10 year old Chihiro is going through a lot.  She just moved away from her old home and has been a bit of a brat for lack of a better word.  During a shortcut to their new home, her parents stumble upon a tunnel that lead to an abandoned amusement park.  Their curiousity gets the better of them and they raid the food court, Chihiro not joining in.  As she waits for them to finish she discovers an old bathhouse and a boy standing guard who tries to get her out of the park before the sun set.  However it was too late and in the darkness the entire park changes: The pathway they took is now replaced by a lake, strange entities appear out of nowhere and to make matters worse, Chihiro discovers to her horror that her parents have turned into pigs.  She discovers that she's trapped in the spirit world and can't leave.   The boy, whose name is Haku tasks her into getting a job at the bathhouse so her parents won't get slaughtered.  The Bathhouse itself is run by a witch named Yubaba and is made to serve high class spirit beings in exchange for gold.  She gets the job and sets a plan in motion to rescue her parents.  Along the way Chihiro, now named Sen meets various characters including, Lin who teaches her how to work, Kamaji a spider-man hybrid that works the boiler room and No-Face a spirit she was nice to who only wants to help her.  She also discovers more about her own past that is connected to the Bathhouse and falls for Haku despite his dual nature.

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with the bathhouse.  While there are many real life Bathhouses in Japan where this takes place the specific one was modeled after The Dogo Onsen, which actually has an urban legend about gods and the healing power of the hotspring in said house.

Next is the spirits.  There are various spirits that represent almost every aspect and animal.  But they all have one thing in common.  They are commonly known as Yokai.  In layman's terms they are spiritual beings that are a mix between human and animal.   Much of the more common ones are the Frogs and Slugs that work in the bathouse.  Lin herself is based off a Weasel and Yubaba is a crow.  As well as Haku and the River Spirit being Dragons.

But then there is the No Face a creature that devours creatures and copies their traits.  In the movie's case he ate 3 greedy people and took their greed on as his own.  He exists in two ways.   One is that he is known as Obake which means shapeshifter and the other is his mask.  Which is commonly known as a Noh face.  The secret of the mask is that it's the same face all the time, just the angle and lighting cause it to show different emotions.

Last but not least is Chihiro herself, she can exist in two ways.  One she is an average girl, whose experience is a supernatural exaggeration of growing up. The other is the specific person.  While I don't know her name, Chihiro is based off of 5 girls that are close friends to Hayo Miyazaki himself, who vacation with him and his family during the summer.  It was then and there that became the inspiration of Spirited Away.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Pink Floyd: The Wall

Now many of you people may not know this album, but you do know the following lyrics "We don't need no education."  The Wall was to Pink Floyd, what Thriller was to Michael Jackson.  There is not one person from 1979 to now that doesn't know or own a copy of this legally or illegally. I myself got it for my 20th birthday along with a cake shaped exactly like the Album.  Unlike most of Floyd's albums this one in particular is no ordinary album.  It is a Rock Opera, like a musical, but only song parts with little to no dialogue.  It has spawned 1 album, various stage perfomences by both the Band and it's former members Roger Waters and David Gilmour as well.  The most famous being the 1990s live in Berlin where the real wall once stood.  As well as a movie starring Bob Geldof.  There has even been talks of writing the Wall on Broadway. Now bear in mind this is the first time I ever done a CIEIR of a music album so it may be more difficult to understand. And there will be spoilers.

The Story goes like so.  Pink, a young lad who has had a lot of bad luck.  He lost his father in WWII, his mother is constantly smothering him and trying to make him dependent on her and his Teachers are constantly abusing him for expressing himself through song. (Blink if you miss moment, the song he was caught writing was a real Pink Floyd Song Money.)  These become the bricks of the titular wall he is constructing in his own mind.  As he grows up he becomes a rockstar and a world sensation, but the pressures of work and his wife cheating on him, due to his isolation of her and his contemplating revenge lays with one of his groupies cause him to snap and finish the wall.  This in turn causes an alternate persona and reality to branch out known as the Surrogate Pink,  A Facist psychopath using Pink's Rockstar Status to form the Hammers, a Neo Nazi-like group dedicated to bringing back Britannia.  In a moment of sanity he puts himself on trial confronted by the ghosts of his pasts and tearing down The Wall.

Now for the fun part,  Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's state the obvious.  Pink suffers from multiple personality disorder.  That's what brought out Surrogate Pink.  My Hulk analysis covered that.

Second is The Wall itself.  This can exist.  The Wall is exactly what it says on the tin: a mental wall designed to block the mind's thoughts and feelings.  The Scary part is, you don't even have to be insane to have one.   You simply just have to hide what you really feel.  We do it all the time.  When we go to work with a smile on our face when in reality some of us either hate our jobs or hate our customers.  When we meet someone we don't like but act like the best of friends.  Even when it's something simple like trying to lie.  We all have walls and like Pink, its up to us whether or not we want to tear them down.

Last but not least, Could Pink Exist In Real Life?  Not only does he exist, there are 2 of them.  The first is Roger Waters, who based most of Pink's actions including his father's death off of his real father Eric Waters who died in Anzio Italy in World War 2.  The other who fits most of the insane description, is Syd Barret, the former lead singer and Bassist of the band.  He was forced to leave due to erractic behavior and unpredictability through his own mentalities and drug use.  Much of Pink's lapses in insanity were based off a real life occurance where Syd after leaving the band reunited with the band while they were recording Wish You Were Here.  Then and their his appearance was changed drastically, his head was shaved bald and he gained weight and was obsessively brushing his teeth.  Much of this behavior was emulated by Geldof in the film. Ironically said album was mostly dedicated to him.  Specifically Shine On You Crazy Diamond.  Sadly, Barret died in 2006 of Pancreatic Cancer.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.  All and All It's Just Another Brick In The Wall.

Monday, 9 September 2013


What started out as a futuristic scifi cop drama like concept, became the modern day horror, adventure comedy we know and love.  Ghostbusters was one of the most phenomenal franchises of the 1980s and 90s.  It has spawned 2 movies with a 3rd on the way,  2 cartoon shows, various video games including the sequel game that brought back much of the main cast and even inspired real life concepts that I will explain in this article.  I myself got first introduced to the Ghostbusters through the 90s tv series called Extreme Ghostbusters which featured Tara Strong of Teen Titan fame and Tuxedo Mask himself Rino Romano.  However I have seen almost every incarnation, with the exception of the IDW comic.  This incarnation is what started it all.  It was Directed by Ivan Reitman and Written by and Starred Dan Aykroyd of SNL fame and Harold Raimis of SCTV fame as two of the titular characters, the third and fourth being Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson.

The story goes like so: Three down and out Parapsychologists, Peter Venkman (Murray), Ray Stantz (Aykroyd)  and Egon Spengler (Ramis)  just got fired from Columbia University just when they proven the existence of Ghosts.  With the remaining research and money from Ray's Mortgage they go into business to become the world's first paranormal investigators and eliminators.  Meanwhile Dana Barret, a Bassist for an orchestra, is experiencing paranormal problems of her own as it seems demons are hiding in her fridge.  Peter falls in love with Dana and decides in order to prove herself to her, to actively help her out in the investigation.  As they are close to losing their remaining money, they get a call about a disturbance in the Sedgewick Hotel.  After initial difficulty they capture their first ghost, Slimer.  This makes them instant successes and their careers as Ghostbusters flourish.  This catches the attention of EPA representative Walter Peck, who believes that their company is a front for handling toxic waste.  If that's not bad enough their containment field is reaching full capacity and Dana's experiences are getting more aggressive.  The Ghostbusters must convince NYC that what they are doing is real in order to stop these disturbances and save the world.

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life?

First and foremost is the technology.  There is the PKE meter, which detects the Ghosts, The Proton Pack and Traps that catch the ghosts and the containment field that stores the ghosts.

The PKE meter is easy as there are various real world equivalents.  The first being the obvious EMF Detector which detects electromagnetic fields of surrounding areas,  if there is a field that has no source then you got a ghost.  The other is the Infared Thermometer which detects the sudden rises and falls in temperature.  A common way to find spiritual activity is to find what are commonly known as Cold spots.  Places in a haunted house that stay cold regardless of the change in the outside climate.  This is also what causes the cold shiver you feel in your spine, when you feel you aren't alone in the house.

The Proton Packs are miniaturized Particle Accelerators which shoot out protonic energy.  In layman's terms that means with the right equipment you can actually make a gun that shoots protons.  Don't try it at home, but if you are stupid enough not to follow my advice; at least do this: Don't cross the streams.  Why?  Well Egon explains it all "Try to imagine all life as we know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."  Though in real life if two proton energy projectiles hit each other odds are it would repel one and other like a magnet. There was a youtube video I found on the subject where a guy did make a real life proton gun.  The result isn't as impressive as the movie, but it works none the less. He hasn't caught ghosts with it yet though.  Sadly I forgot where I found it. But look it up you'd be surprised.

Last is the trap and containment field.  They both work in the same way as the proton pack in theory, but unlike the pack, the ghosts are bombbarded with protonic energy to keep it stored.  Much like my Pokemon analysis, these ghosts are converted to data as a result and can be stored in the trap no matter how big.  Though as proven with the game it depends on how much the trap can take.  Hmm I wonder if the Pokeballs were inspired by the trap.

The Next concept is the ghosts themselves.  Unlike most supernatural movies, said ghosts up until the games and cartoons that is, have not had any known living equivalent, but are called ghosts none the less.  That being said, no matter how comical they look, these are the most realistic portrayals of ghosts you can ever find in a movie.  First off is the way they effect the living environment.  Subtle movements, like moving books and throwing the cards out of the drawers are based off Telekinesis.  This theorizes that the ghosts are our consciousness expelled from our bodies.  The second part is the Ectoplasm, a substance left behind from said spirits or entities as proof of physical contact.  Now before I confirm this, I understand that the subject of Ectoplasm is debatable as half see it as undeniable proof while others see it as the biggest fraud in the world.  However I assure you that the result as of this moment  is....inconclusive.  Mainly because I myself never seen actual ectoplasm.  However if it really does exist it would be undeniable proof that ghosts can manipulate the living environment.  Last but not least on the matter is how to catch them.   Now as stated in the tech section, that Protons shoot out protonic energy.  What I mean by that is that it shoots out positively charged energy.  In order to catch a ghost the ghost would have to be made of negatively charged energy.  Which means that if ghosts do exist in real life they are made of billions of electrons.   Which explains a lot, because of the following:
1. Opposites attract and protonic energy is the only thing that can catch electronic energy.
2. Why ghosts are so fast and aggressive in their movements.  Electrons are in a constant flux, they can't be stopped unless their pathways are cut off.
3. The ectoplasm, many electrical things and entity leave behind a residue.  Like battery acid leaking from the battery or industrial waste.  Everything leaves something behind.

Now on to the final part of it.  Could The Ghostbusters Exist In Real Life? The answer is yes.

First and foremost there are many colleges dedicated to paranormal investigations.  Even the Ivy League Princeton has one in the form of the PEAR organization as mentioned in the Stephen King analysis.  There are also however organizations that make the real ones look bad such as Ghost Hunters, who do nothing but scream and shake the camera.

Last but not least there is one real group of Ghostbusters or at least the closest to it. The Aykroyd family.  I am not even kidding about that.  Dan himself is a spiritualist and when not making movies or creating fine wines. (One of which I purchased, pretty damn good for the price.) he investigates, becomes a consultant of and documents paranormal events from ghosts to UFOs. He was even the advisor for how the ghosts were portrayed in this series.  He's not the only one though.  His Father Peter Aykroyd published a book called "History of Ghosts" to which Dan wrote the intro to.  This particular book chronicles the entire family's history of being in the spiritualist movement.  Most famously his Great Grandfather (Whom I do not know the full name of.)  who was a known dentist and mystic. This particular Aykroyd has on occasion had a correspondence with Sherlock Holmes writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle on the subject of spiritualism.

All and all you can't get a closer version of real Ghostbusters, than the family of one of the movies well known well loved creators.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.  Oh when there's something strange, in the neighborhood.  Who You Gonna Call?

Update: Oh and Slimer is The Ghost of John Belushi.  Don't believe me? Ask Dan Aykroyd himself.

Sunday, 8 September 2013

The Explorers

Alright, now this one I have personal history with.  The first time I watched Explorers was when I was a kid at the time I didn't know any of the actors or what the story was about save for bits and pieces.  I didn't even know the title.  A few years later I am in my teen years, I watched this movie beginning to end and could make more sense of most of it.  This is one of Joe Dante's works.  It stars Ethan Hawke and the Late Great River Phoenix as well as introducing and saying goodbye to Jason Presson as this was the only known movie he was ever in.  Which sucks because he's a great actor in this film and could keep up with Hawke and Phoenix.  Nostalgia Critic himself has named this number 7 of his top 11 Underrated Nostalgic Classics and it shows. 

The story revolves around 3 characters.  Ben (Hawke)  a Scifi movie fanatic, especially when it comes to aliens.  Wolfgang : (Phoenix) If you took Egon Spengler made him into a kid and took Harold Ramis voice, you'd have Wolfgang.  He's a child prodigy, who does many mad science experiments, including getting a mouse to talk.  And then there's Darren (Presson) a loner kid that saved Ben from a bully and became fast friends with him.  Ben has a dream about a circuit diagram and gets Wolfgang to build it for him not knowing what it does.  They discover that it creates a force field bubble that can defy gravity, become any size and move anwhere depending on which 3d Coordinates they type in.  They then use it to spy on a girl Ben likes.  Our hero ladies and gentlemen, using scifi technology for perversion potential. Anywho they find that because the force field's size can be changed, anything they can fit into it could fly.  So they construct a spaceship out of a Tilt-A-Whirl.....I am not kidding about that.  They christen it "The Thunderroad" after a Springstein song and fly off.  Then and there they find the source of the dream which is an alien spaceship.  Inside are among most things, Two Green aliens.  One is a guy named Wak and the other is a girl named Neek who falls in love with Wolfgang.  Damn even in nerd attire Phoenix is a hit with the ladies.  These Aliens learn the both the history of planet earth and the English language, by hijacking signals from TV stations.  You heard it folks they learn about us through TV.   Good thing this was in the 80s lord help us if they come back in 2013 and stumble upon Honey Boo Boo.  The trip though is short lived as the ship is under attack apparently by space pirates so they try their best to try to get the kids home.

Now for the fun part. Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with the ship itself.  The ship is just a shell.  You can make it out of anything, it doesn't matter as there is nothing mechanical about it.  It's mainly designed to keep the passengers safe and store their supplies and controls.  Anyone can make that.  But the important part is how they fly it, the force field.  This particular one actually exists in real life.   Now I am kinda cheating on this as I mentioned this once before.  But to those who are only tuning into the front page listen.  In my Who Framed Roger Rabbit analysis I mentioned an apparatus using wii motes, a provision holo and a tactile ultrasound device to help simulate touching the holographic object.  Now at the time I only mentioned that it could be used in making cartoons exist in the real world.  What I didn't realize until now is that if you have a big enough apparatus you can make a force field like the one in this movement.  Will it be able to fly a ship? Probably not, but it can be safe enough to touch while strong enough to keep anything from hurting whatever surrounds it. Unlike most examples, I do encourage anyone working on tech like this to try it out. Just be careful.

Next is the circuit board, which is an automatic yes, as with the right tools you can make something like what I said above possible.

Last but not least is the aliens themselves.  I will go on record and say as of now, there is no proof that aliens exist.  However if they did exist, this is probably the most realistic example even for a family film.  First and foremost the way they study us is plausible in the 80s.  At the time there was no internet and Radio was the thing of the past compared to TV.  So every house hold in the developed worlds would have one.  This in turn would cause a strong signal relay on the satellites both on earth and in space. These aliens while looking through the galaxies, would latch on to the strongest signals and naturally assume that's how we act.  Next is why they haven't shown up on earth.  Two reasons in the film are as follows: One they don't react well to the bacteria on our planet ala War Of The Worlds.  Second even if they could stand that, they are afraid that we wouldn't tolerate them.  As pointed in the study example they study us through TV, and seen a lot of movies that revolve around prejudice against aliens, be it hostile or not.  As well as our undeniable taste for destruction.  Which is why they signal kids in the dreams, because naturally children are innocent and less prone to trying to eliminate them.  The Third thing about the aliens is how they contacted us in the first place.  Now if you read my Little Nemo analysis I explain about lucid dreams and how to stimulate them.  However one thing, I left out was the possibility of planting thoughts into the dreams of people.  This is what's called Inception.....ya ya like the movie.  But despite what that movie says. Planting the thoughts in others minds isn't all that impossible.  As read in Manchurian Candidate, hypnosis and brainwashing could be the best ways to do so.  Planting a command is only the tip of the iceberg, the best hypnotists with or without technology could plant ideas into the thought this way.   Now the last thing about the aliens, their biology.   As seen Wak and Neek are green, they have suction cups for fingers and antenna.  So clearly they are evolved from a mix between bugs and reptiles.  So as stated before, evolution and gene splicing could make these loveable aliens in real life.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I miss.  Stay Tuned For More.  And Watch the Skies.

10 Reasons why Nintendo is better than Sony and Microsoft

If you were reading me for the past 119 posts, you'd know I am a huge fan of Nintendo.  My first posts were all about defictionalizing the entire Legend of Zelda series. My persona S.T. uses Nintendo based weapons.   But I been hearing a lot of shit all over youtube lately that "Nintendo is Doomed" Due to it's recent sellings of the Wii-U and that Sony and Microsoft is better.  Now don't get me wrong I did play PS3 and XBox and there have been games I would require one or the other to play that Wii or Wii-U couldn't license.  However, most of this top list is personal opinion as well as a bit of fact.  I grew up with this system and I am gonna die playing it when I am well in my late 80s. 

10.  Nintendo actually listens to customer complaints.
Many of their systems produced are made from trial and error.  In away they make more of their money testing us rather than give the final product because there is no final product.  They test us and they continue to test us and when they hear there is some kind of flaw they work to improve the system.  The Wii for example had choppy motion control on their first games. Their solution?  Put a Gyroscope in each new control system to allow more fluid movements.  Sony and Microsoft on the other hand give too much of the final product and the result is nasty, from 360s red ring of death, too PS3's constant patching thinking software solves a hardware problem.   You can't put a bandage over a gash.

9.  Wii-U isn't the first near "career killing" situation Nintendo was in.

Now I don't hate the Wii-U, as stated in 10 I think they are testing us like the Wii, however it doesn't mean they were 100 percent on everything.

Nintendo has been known to make bad decisions before.  From their CDI games in 1994 which was the main reason they stuck to cartidges and in turn caused Sony to defect, to the virtual boy in 1995 and the N64 DD in 1999.   However despite the ideas not fairing well with their customers, it didn't kill their careers, otherwise they would have been 3rd party like Sega and Atari.  They grow and learn from their experiences and even made side jokes on the matter in the form of easter eggs in their games.

8.  They saved the Video Game Buisness.

Not many people know this, but during 1982, the video game business was on the verge of going extinct thanks to the Atari E.T. Video Game.  What saved us?  Mario.  And regardless of how good and how bad their decisions have gotten, they been riding on that high for 30 years and counting. 

7. The other systems became desperate to copy them.

While Motion control has been around for a while, with the Power Glove and Eyetoy.  It wasn't until the console war between PS3, Wii and Xbox 360 where things really became ridiculous.   After Wii's initial success Sony and Microsoft decided to incorperate motion control in their game.  Sony was modest at first, modifying their classic Dual Shock controller to give it a few new ways to play with it.  However when 2010 rolled in, both Microsoft and Sony decided to rip them off.  PS Move, while it helped boost their sales, was essentially a Wii-mote with a light bulb on it whilst Kinect was simply the other side of the Wii-mote, the sensor. You can take Sony out of Nintendo, but you can't take Nintendo out of Sony.  However Xbox took it a step further by stealing from Sony's Eyetoy concept too.  As for Kinect's game qualities.  Ask Angry Joe.  He's more experienced on the matter.

6. Lack of mascot. Now this one is centered mostly around Sony.   Since their defection, they never had a mascot....or at least one that lasted.  At least Microsoft had Master Chief.  Sony had and disposed of the following potentials: Crash Bandicoot, Jak and Daxter, Ratchet and Clank.  So far the closest thing to a mascot they have now is Sack Boy from Little Big Planet, but how long is he gonna last Sony? How long till you put him in the room of lost Sony Mascots?

5.  Paying for extra internet services. This is mostly centered on Microsoft.  While Sony and Nintendo do not charge for using their consoles as a means of surfing the Net, save for downloadable content.  Microsoft decided "Oh paying their bills and our DLC isn't enough we should have their time too." Thus Xbox live is born.  Which charges constantly for being online and has been doing that up to their New Xbox One. Now that wouldn't be a problem since many customers are Single Players, but then the bombshell came.  Xbox One announced it's Online only policy.  Which states that all games including Single Player will only be playable when you have logged onto Xbox live.  Which should be no surprise from Microsoft as they did this before with Sim City 2013 and Diablo III.  However at least they don't charge you extra on the Net on your PC.  As far as I know XBox live is still being charged, so when you log in to play your single player game, it pretty much becomes World of Warcraft all over again.  Gamers including the dedicated Microsoft fans did not like this one bit.  To put the Xtra nail on the coffin, CEO Don Mattrick insulted fans by simply saying "If you don't like it, go back to 360."   Ya why is he now working in Zynga again?  I guess he forgot that Gates is the real Alpha Dog of all Microsoft.This move pretty much made Sony and Nintendo the top competitors.  If they screw up like this again, it's gonna be Nintendo/Sega all over again.

4. Call Of Duty.
Let me go on record and say I don't hate CoD, I love shooting games.  Doom being my personal favorite among them.  But if you are only gonna put effort in the weapons and not the story. (With the exception of that one where that Nuke blew up, that was pretty tragic.) Then you just became the Gaming Industries equivalent to Michael Bay.  Ironically he worked with Spielberg who used to be Alpha Dog on the military based shooters with Medal of Honor, which is a better series in my opinion.  The point is that playing the game is good, but experiencing the game is better and you aren't gonna if your only praise you're getting is blowing someone's head off. 

3.  It's the only video game console in the world.
Nintendo has always been only about the games.  Even with the Wii, they didn't do anything involving computers or movies, until it's later years when they gave the option to have media broadcasting services like Netflix, Hulu and Youtube.   Sony and Microsoft on the other hand, as soon as PS2 and Xbox came around was focused more on taking over every single medium in the world.  Games, Movies, Computers, you name it.  They pretty much became a cheaper alternative to a PC.   While Wii U is just catching up on that, it had 30 years just being the only Gaming system in the world that was all about the games. 

2. Sega, Konami and Capcom is their ally now.
If you grew up in the 90s like I did, you are a veteran of the console wars.  Sega and Nintendo were focused on 1-Up'ing each other.   Even Sega's slogan was "Genesis does what Ninten-don't."  When Dreamcast flopped they sold their character rights to Nintendo with only Sony and Microsoft getting a small piece.  This in turn made Mario and Sonic, two of Video Games most legendary rivals partners, but that is not all.  Konami joined the fun by having Solid Snake appear alongside the blue blur in one of Wii's Milestones, Super Smash Bros Brawl.  But I'm not finished yet.  Capcom has announced that in the newest Smash Bros Game, Megaman, Capcom's first mascot appear in his original NES attire.  It won't be long until there is a Nintendo/Capcom spin off that Pits Mario and Sonic against the entire cast of Street Fighter and Final Fight.

1. Their top guys are still around.

I saved this for last because this is something Nintendo has all companies by the balls with.  Many of the people that made Nintendo the superpower they are today are still around.  Let's do a headcount:

Satoshi Tajiri Creator of Pokemon which to this day has still been a worldwide phenom.

Makoto Kano, Creator of Metroid and Kid Icarus, the man behind the ongoing question that is still being asked to this day.  "Samus is a girl?"

Masahiro Sakurai, creator of Kirby and The Super Smash Bros Franchise, many vs series from movies to video games were stemmed from him.  You're welcome.

Shigesato Itoi, creator of Earthbound, this Iron Chef judge showed us that games can be both tell a real world story and still have fantasy like gestures in it.  Much of Earthbound were stemmed from things he seen from his own life.  Don't believe me? Watch Game Theory.

And last but not least, Shigeru Miyamoto,  Creator of Mario, Zelda, Star Fox, Donkey Kong, Pikmin the list goes on.  He is so respected in the video game world that neither Sony nor Microsoft speak an ill world about them.  Their respective fanbases may insult Nintendo all they want, but they know better than to insult one of the most powerful men in the world.  He is also the reason why the other 4 had a chance to express themselves through games.  While not the head of Nintendo he still plays an important part as their face and is the main producer and director of almost every game written since his promotion. I have nothing but the utmost respect for this man, not just as a fan, but as a kid who grew up from an NES playing post infant, to a Snes playing preteen, to a 64 playing Teenager and finally to a Wii playing adult.  Shigeru you are not just the best thing about Nintendo,  you are Nintendo personified. The Kevin Flynn of real world video games.

They are all still here and even if they are long buried their impact has been burned into our hearts and minds.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.  And to all Nintendo fans past and present, now you're playing with power.

Thursday, 5 September 2013

Straight Up Reviews #7: Tron: Uprising.

The grid full of endless possibilities and then one day, we got to see it for ourselves.  Now anyone who has read my CIEIR or even paid attention to my comics would know I am a fan of Tron.   For those who don't know what I am talking about here is the skivvy.

Kevin Flynn, a computer genius who is on the verge of taking back what was stolen from him, gets sucked into Encom computer into The Grid.  Where computer programs are people, places and objects.  In there he fights along side Tron, a security program that fights for the users.  Together they stop the malevolent MCP, bring peace to the grid and to top it off make Flynn head of Encom.

Uprising takes place before it's sequel Legacy.  In it Clu, Flynn's stand in has taken over The Grid and begun a purge of ISOs.  Tron is missing and presumed dead and Flynn is no where to be found.  Along the way, a small occupation lead by General Tesler, takes over Argon City.  In the process many programs are being persecuted or Derezzed (killed in the Tron Universe.).  One such program happens to be a close friend to Beck, a local mechanic program, whom normally just builds lightcycles and play games.  However his friend Bohdi was slaughted by one of Tesler's Black Guards. Having enough, Beck takes matters into his own hands and starts fighting back against Tesler's forces disguised as Tron, in hopes of inspiring hope in Argon that their once legendary hero still lives.   In the process he meets the real Tron.  Impressed by his skills and determination, Tron trains Beck to be his replacement.  Along the way they recruit more into the resistance, while keeping Beck's identity a secret.  They also make enemies out of Tesler and his two minions, Pavel who wants to replace Tesler as general and Paige, a former medical program with a troubled past.  The latter of which is infatuated with both "The Renegade" (Beck's alias to those that don't believe he's Tron.) as well as Beck himself, albeit for different reasons.

When I first heard about this show, all I could think of was "This is gonna suck, this is really gonna fucking suck." And was hesitant to watch it for a while.  That was until I caught in on netflix today.  I watched ten episodes so far and I gotta say. If you are an Uprising fan and you see me walking down the street one day, you have my permission to bitch slap me for being wrong.  It not only doesn't suck, but it's the only thing Disney Channel XD made that was new and worth watching.  No scratch that, it was the only thing Disney Channel worth watching.  NOOOOOO SCRATCH THAT!!!! IT WAS THE ONLY MODERN DAY DISNEY CHANNEL TV SHOW IN THE WORLD WORTH WATCHING.

First let's start with the one thing Disney was ever good at to begin with now, the animation.  They combine Disney's unique style of Cell shading animation with Tron's ground Breaking CGI and it doesn't suck like most examples of 2D/3D hybrids.

Second the story.   While I do like Tron and Legacy.  Their story was lacking.  Mostly because the budget at the time was mostly used on the stunning visuals that made the movies famous in the first place.  Whilst animating it is cheaper but more effective.  That's because with animation, you can have the balance of great visuals as well as a coherent story and the story itself is coherent.  It follows Beck's journey from being a mechanic to a freedom fighter, to eventually a man worthy of carrying the name Tron.  It has a villain that you can identify with whether you love him or hate him through Tesler. You do at least feel bad for him when his plans fail.  And then there's Paige, who we genuinely feel sorry for because she truly believes that her side is the heroic side.  Her backstory alone and her relationship with Beck and The Renegade shows her having doubts about whether or not she's doing right.  And then there's the rest of Argon City, Beck's friends are divided on whether or not to side with The Renegade and many of Argon's citizens have their own ups and downs depending on who you meet.  It gives us the impression that the programs that reside in our own computers are no different than us.  An ongoing theme of the entire franchise.

Last but not least is the cast.  First and foremost is Bruce Boxleitner reprising his role as the titular Tron as well as a few other casts from the old series, but not telling.  Bruce retains the serious mood that Tron was all about despite wearing a futuristic hockey suit. (Rimshot)  But also brings in a side of Tron we never see, the scarred, weakened close to the edge without fallen hero.  Then we have Ellijah Wood.  I must admit I was never really a fan of him save for a few movies.  I am one of the few that liked  The Good Son and Faculty, but not liked Lord of The that I taken the time to watch out for lynch mobs.  Anywho that was one of the reasons I didn't want to watch this show.  Thankfully his acting cap was on in this one.  I genuinely feel the pressure Beck feels about hiding his identity and living up to Tron's expectations.   Last but not least we have Lance Henriksen.  I rarely see him in villain roles, but he does well.  He is no stranger to playing humanoid mechanical beings *Cough* Aliens.*Cough*  As well as military figures, that's a given.  But that evil flair is something I can't describe it just works.  You have to see for yourself.

All and all it's a great show, it should not have been cancelled.  Anyone near the Disney Channel HQ, if you can read this and are a hardcore Tron fan.  Help bring the show back.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.   I FIGHT FOR THE USERS!!!

Update: I watched the entire first season.  19 episodes of awesome.   While I don't know whether or not they'll make another season.  I do know this they ended on a note that would easily tie into Legacy should they not continue.  Which will be probably disappointing to some of you whom grew to like certain characters.  And to any fan shippers out there that wanted to see the extent of Beck/Renagade/Paige's relationship, I don't think you'll like where this is going.   That being said, to many fans of the old movie, of legacy and even this show I can tell you this, they ended it the way it would end with Tron, with many questions unanswered, the worry of the grid's future, plus the hope that it will all work out no matter what. Until we know for certain, keep the fight going, for Flynn, for Tron, for Beck, but most importantly for you.  If you are reading this, you are the users and Tron hasn't given up fighting for you.