Internet Defense League


Thursday, 29 August 2013

The Blob

What started out as the movie that sparked Steve McQueen's career, became a B movie phenomena that rivaled Evil Dead.  The Blob has had 2 movies, 1 remake that was more horrifying than the original and an upcoming one.  But what is the Blob? Whatever it is we should all beware.

The story happens like so, a meteor crash lands on to earth and releases an alien jelly like substance that consumes life upon contact.  Only Steve, his girlfriend and his gang of juvenile delinquents know about it, but the townspeople believe it to be a hoax. As the substance gets bigger with each person and animal it eats, the gang must find a way to stop it before it consumes the world.

Now for the scary part, Could It Exist In Real Life.  The answer is yes.  But the scary part is that it's not in space it could be found in our own planet.  The Blob is an Amoeba, a one celled organism,  The good news though is that it's microscopic in size and doesn't get bigger as it just splits in 2 when it eats too much food. Or does it?

We all know James Cameron be it through his movies such as Terminator, Abyss and Avatar.  What very few know until South Park pointed it out was that Cameron had an interest in deep sea diving.  During his most famous trip down the Marianas Trench, Cameron discovered a field of what he described as Giant Amoebas.  Now before you start panicking reader, know this.  While Cameron found a way to get down to the trench, anything that deep can not come up to the water without exploding due to the difference in water pressure. So rest assured the Blob is real, but it won't get you.  How they didn't get Cameron though is a mystery to me, but good thing. Otherwise we wouldn't have a chance at Terminator getting it's Dignity back.

As usual, Debate, Argue and Let Me Know What I Missed. Stay Tuned For More and Beware The Blob.

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Adventures of T.S. aka Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker #15

 T.S. Aka S.T. Infiltrates RIFFN' HQ and makes a startling discovery.

Update: I made a typing mistake It's Icarus that's in the hospital, not Issac.

Sunday, 25 August 2013

Adventures of T.S. Aka S.T. Filmmaker #14

Maple has been brainwashed, so S.T. and Natalie, formally of RIFFIN' prepare for battle.

Saturday, 24 August 2013

The Muppets

What started out as a small time puppet act in the 50s became a 6 decade phenom that will never die.....even though many founders have.   There is not one person even in my generation, that doesn't know the muppets.  Whether you grew up watching Sesame Street in the 60s, watched the Muppet Show in the 70s, The short lived Muppets Tonight in the 90s, or if  you're a movie buff like me, many many movies involving either the titular characters such as the Muppet Movie to Muppets From space, or just loved Hensons ground breaking works in say Dark Crystal, Labrynth and even Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Jim Henson was old, when the world of adult themed kid shows were young and he didn't hesitate to bring to life anything he saw fit, from talking frogs to karate chopping pigs.  Sadly after his personal supervision of the first Ninja Turtles movie, Henson died of Pneumonia, but that didn't stop the muppets for Disney bought the rights and to this day they never changed despite our fears it would.  Even the 2012 Muppet reunion movie deserves credit for helping us to never forget our lovable friends on the small screen.  Excuse me I have something in my eye.

Ok for those who have no idea what I am talking about let me explain?  Muppets is a word created by Jim Henson that combines the word "Marionette" And "Puppet" together.  The people that control the titular characters are Muppeteers.  While there are many great works involving the muppets, including the world famous creature workshop, my main focus is the original group.  For the main cast there is:

1. Kermit the Frog:  the leader of the group.  Once living in the Florida swamp, he was discovered by an agent while he was singing Rainbow Connection.  Along the way to Los Angeles he discovers other Muppets along the way.  His act is mostly being the only sane Muppet of the group, as well as being the host of the titular Muppet Show, presenting guest stars and other acts.

2. Miss Piggy:  The Stardom Hungry Diva that is known for her selfish tendencies and violent temper.  She is Kermit's love interest but when a famous Male guest star ends up guest starring, she'd be the first to go fangirl over it.  Much to the Star's annoyance and Kermit's jealousy.  However if a female guest star shows the slightest interest in Kermit, she'd be the first to be there to Karate Chop them into submission.  Despite her small size no one could with stand her in a one but Christopher Reeve anyway.

3. Fozzie Bear:  A once washed up stand up comedian, Fozzie managed to find work at the Muppet Show, being the subject of ridicule of critics and audience alike. But no matter what he always has a positive attitude and ends his jokes in  "Wocka Wocka Wocka"

4. Gonzo:  I am not exactly sure what the hell Gonzo is, In space says he's an alien.  But what he does is most important.  He is the daredevil of the group known for doing the most bizarre stunts with the most minimal of injury.  One of his more defining traits is a fetish for chickens.  He currently has the honor of being named into a style of Journalism coined by famous Author/Local crazy guy Hunter S. Thompson.

5. Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem: The main music group of the muppets. Whose hit single "Can you picture that?" is known even to this day.  Their trademark is that each member is based off one or two musical references.  Such as Floyd being a mix of the Beatles and Pink Floyd.  The most well known members are Animal, a drummer with a wild man personality and a lust for the ladies.  (Though don't tell Kathy Griffin where he is, he is trying to avoid her.)  And Scooter the once manager of the band, now promoted to stage manager in the theater.  Scooter had a twin sister at one point, but she was missing.

6. Doctor Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker: A benevolent mad scientist and his assistant who test out a variety of inventions which borderline on terrorist level danger.  A running gag is that no matter how much he hates it, Beaker is the one getting hurt and sometimes killed by an invention gone wrong.

7. Swedish Chef:  Now before anyone in Sweden can get offended. Yes it's obvious he doesn't speak a word of Swedish. This particular chef has been known to be the only chef in history to host a cooking show where food fights back.  He even once tried to cook Big Bird, but the loveable bird guilt tripped him out of it.  (Huh is it just me or does Big Bird seem hard to kill, I mean Nixon tried, Chef Tried and now Rommney tried.)  He is also unique for being one of the few muppets to have actual hands. as he is being controlled by two Muppeteers.

8.  Rowlf The Dog: A former Purina spokesperson who has a love of classical music and deadpan humor.  He's known as another one of the few sane muppets on the show and has a frequent sketch called Veterinarian's Hospital, where he plays a doctor that doesn't treat his patients too well.  He got a taste of his own medicine by none other than Christopher Reeve.

9. Sweetums: An Ogre.  Despite his imposing figure he is really a gentle giant that wants to make it in hollywood.  His running gags include, breaking through walls and trying to eat the other muppets.

10. Statler and Waldorf: Two grumpy old men whom despite their dislike of the show has appeared in almost every episode.  Their gag is that they critique each episode and at their very worse are among Fozzie's many heckler's.

There are a lot more but there you have it the main cast.  Now for the fun part. Could It Exist In Real Life?

This was a tough one but yes, the Muppets exist in real life.   There is subtle proof throughout the years, from their stints outside their own show like Saturday Night Live, to their appearances in many award shows including the oscars, the many news interviews.  But if you want something more concrete, take a look at Hollywood's Walk of Fame.  In 1994 Big Bird was inducted.  In 2002, Kermit was inducted and thanks to the recent movie, The Muppets as a group for their decades of entertaining us have their own star in 2012.  They are among many fictional characters such as Mickey Mouse, Godizlla, Bugs Bunny and The Simpsons.  Making a fictional character real isn't all just about finding the real life equivalents.  It is also about recognizing the impact they have had on our lives.  The character may not be real, but their impressions on us are.  And that is all the proof I need.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More, and remember: It's not easy being Green.

Update: Oh and Animal is a reincarnation of Who Drummer Keith Moon.

Friday, 23 August 2013

Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker #13

The Professor has been rescued but something's wrong.

The Manchurian Candidate

Well I'm glad the Professor's back, but he's been acting kind of strange lately.  Because of it I decided to see into mediums on mind control.  And what better way than to analyze one of the most famous examples, Manchurian Candidate.   This franchise is rather short compared to others as it had only one Novel and Two Movies.  However it's impact was so big, that it caused a lot of meta debates on the existence of it's core subject. I first heard about it through the trailer of the 2004 movie, but I first watched it through the 1962 movie Starring Frank Sinatra.

The story revolves around the lives of two Korean War vets, Sergeant Raymond Shaw and his commander Major Bennet Marco.  Though not knowing how, Shaw is to receive the medal of Honor for rescuing his Platoon, save for two members whom died in battle.  Marco then starts having nightmares showing Raymond killing the two soldiers believed to have been KIA.  Hang on a second..............Ok anywho, he was right to be noticing strange things as it turns out Shaw is being controlled by a Soviet Spy in the U.S. Through the use of Hypnotic Triggers in order to covertly carry out assassinations.  Marco now must free his friend and find out the the identity of the agent, before the next election.

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?  No it cannot, in fact everything I said for the past 100 posts has been a big lie.  I am so ashamed that I may have to shut this site down. I.....

Whew remind me to lock my computer before I get water again. 

Anyway the answer is yes and no.  So far save for a bunch of Bullshit (take your shot.)  Conspiracy Theories.  There has been no solid proof of Manchurian Candidates or their recent incarnation MK-Ultra.  Hypnosis and Brainwashing on the other hand does and this book portrays it in the most realistic way.   Now there are many kinds of hypnosis,  from the standard parlor trick you see in many night club acts, to the use of hallucinogenic and hypnotic drugs.   The latter being the real life responsibility of the invention of LSD. Don't try it even if you are a qualified scientist. But the most common one is the Pavlov effect.  The gist of it being that if you can condition a blank slate of a mind into doing certain tasks with certain triggers, you can actually get your subject to follow your commands.  Even simple things like rewarding them for your perception of good behavior and berating them for perceived bad behavior.  The big example is getting a dog to eat their dinner at the sound of a bell.  Or in Raymond Shaw's case there were 2 triggers, one is the trigger phrase "Why don't you pas the time by paying a little solitaire."  Upon doing said command Raymond must play solitaire until he stumbles upon the red queen card.   This leaves him open to suggestion.  However as accurate are the positive sides of the technique so are the negatives.  As proven in a scene where at a bar a patron unwittingly triggers this command and inadvertently commands Raymond to go jump in a lake which he does.  This let's us the viewer know the horror that not only could the U.S. Spy be anyone, but anyone could control your mind with the right techniques and equipment, it's not always a government official as conspiracy theorists desperately tried pointing out.  It could very well be your next door neighbor.   Now you can panic. But I kid of course.  However I advise you not to try this at home either as you could hurt someone with it, be it the person you tested on or the person you sent him/her after. 

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More. I am off to find out what the hell happened to Maple.

Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker #12

After finding out the Professor's missing S.T. and his new Ally go to rescue him.

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

The Matrix

What started out as The Watchowski's answer to Star Wars, became the phenomenal franchise that ended the 90s and welcomed us to the 21st century.   Why did I say it was their Star Wars? Well let's see, The Watchowski's back when they were known as the Watchowski Brothers, (Don't get me started on that.)  drew their influence on mediums they watched when they grew up from old movies, to westerns, to even Anime.  Hell to hit the nail on the head if you look at Neo's room you'll see A New Hope Poster somewhere.  This series has had three movies, a spin off animated anthology, 2 Video games, 1 online RPG and several parodies on the matter.   I was about to turn 9 when the first movie came out and at first I could barely understand it.  But it didn't stop me from enjoying it none the less.  When I became old enough to understand it I enjoyed it even more, though it did spark some paranoia, but I'll get to that in a second. And I must confess I even liked Matrix Revolutions despite it being labelled the "Godfather III" of The Matrix Series.

I should warn you major spoilers and I am not just talking about the ending.

The story goes like so.  Thomas Anderson an employee by day, but by night he is a computer hacker under the alias "Neo".  He is one of the few that has questioned the world he lives in and believes a known Terrorist, that goes by the name Morpheus has the answers.  But he only wants to know one. "What is the Matrix?"  With the help of Trinity, Neo finally meets Morpheus and is taken on a strange journey in which he wakes up in a pod like device and to his horror, finds himself Bald, Nude and covered with strange holes.  According to Morpheus, he is in the real world.  It is then and there he finds out that The Matrix, is a computer generated dream world, designed to distract humans like him, who are genetically created to serve as batteries for the Machine City.  To top it off he is prophesied as "The One" an entity who was born in the Matrix and has the power to alter it's reality. While he undergoes training, he runs a foul of Agents: Sentient Computer Programs who have the power to possess anyone that is still hardwired into the Matrix.

Now for the fun part.  Could it Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with the obvious. Sentient Computer Programs, see Tron and other examples on my page about AI and robotics. 

Second is the Human Battery.  According to Business Insider, yes.  The human body can generate heat that can be converted into electricity.  However unlike the Matrix it's only a small amount.  Which is justified since there are at least more than Six Billion humans plugged in. 

Last but not least is the Matrix.  Could It Exist In Real Life?  Yes it can.  Over the years man has tried to create a perfect virtual paridise,  through video games, escapist fiction and even through our own brainwaves with the use of white noise and binaural beats.  Steve Jobs even once started a campaign to build a holodeck.  But the best example would have to be Second Life.  A Massive Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game, which is designed to help you the player create your own perfect world and share it with others.  Because we each have our own separate views on what a perfect world is, each one is more different than the other.  And what is the goal? Nothing, you just live another life.  Right now there are a lot of people logged on to second life and all they do is what they do in their daily routine, they shop with real money, they even have long distance relationships with significant others. There is not a more realistic example of The Matrix than that game.  And the messed up part is it was made like that.  Some people are actually dependent on Second Life as if it were their real life.   It's only a matter of time until someone has the bright idea to hook humans up to second life.  Though odds are we may already be in there already.  That's the paranoia I was talking about.  We may or may not be living in a dream world and not even know it.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More.  There is no Spoon.

Adventures of ST Filmmaker #11

Another intruder at CIER are they friend or foe?

Monday, 19 August 2013

Digital Monsters

What started out as a spin-off of Tamagotchi turned into a phenomena that was often considered a pokemon knock off.  Digital Monsters or Digimon as we in North America know it, has help revolutionize the digital pet industry into super stardom.  It has had its fair share of the pets themselves, ongoing anime series, mangas, even video games revolving around such a simple idea.

Created in 1997 by Bandai as a more "Boy friendly." version of Tamagotchi, these particular pets were pretty much the same as Tamagotchi in almost every way.  Feeding them caring for them etc.  Even the controversial letting them die. However unlike Tamagotchi, Digimon had a unique style of play that lets you and another Digi-pet player link the devices together in order to befriend or battle each other for experience points.  This in turn caused the titular monsters to digivolve into more powerful beings.  When I was a kid I learned about Digimon through the anime show, but I stopped watching during the Tamers era.  I even had a few toys from between 02 and Tamers, such as A D-Terminal and Takato's D-Power Digivice.  Though my personal favorite season to date would have to be 02 mainly because it's a lot Darker.  First off in that season the Destined are not just facing a rogue Digimon or Virus.  They face off against one of their own and those type of battles I like the most.  Though I do agree with JesuOtaku about the damn epilogue, as I too am a Tai/Sora TK/Kari shipper myself.  I mean come on Angemon and Angewomon it can't get any more obvious.

Now for the fun part.  Could it Exist In Real Life?   Well the answer is yes in many ways.  First and foremost is the obvious I pointed out in terms of A.I. as with the proper tweaking you can create a virtual pet just as good as the real thing, but without the mess.  Hell many of the chatterboxes and other Vitural Assistants could be attributed to being just humanoid Virtual pets. My personal favorite being Verbots, as it is free and has a simple way of tweaking the brain of said assistant. 

However that's only scratching the surface. PETA also known as the People's Ethical Treatment of Animals has started a campaign to try to legally register Digital Pets as actual pets.  This campaign is in an attempt to kill a lot of birds with one stone. Not literally of course.  But meaning the following.
* To give a person a pet without having a real pet suffer.
* To train a person on the ethics and responsibilities in taking care of a real pet.
* A suitable substitute for an animal lover that has allergies to the real thing.

Now if anyone knew me in real life.  I hate PETA personally.  I am a meat eater so I wouldn't get along with them even if the members happen to be celebs I like such as Alec Baldwin.  That aside this campaign is actually pretty clever in many ways. I myself think that Digital Pets might be the way of the future in terms of animal companions.  Who knows, maybe they might pull a Yugioh and do a holographic version of the Digimon of your choice.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.

Monday, 12 August 2013

Riffin' Meetin' Aka Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker #10

My character has had a few run in's with this evil organization, but we never really know what goes on there. Let's find out.

Saturday, 3 August 2013

Wonder Woman

Ok before I get started on this, welcome to my 100th post.   To make this more interesting. This one is gonna be my CIEIR Drinking Game.  Here are the rules.

1. Grab your favorite brand of Liquor and a shot glass.

2. No one under the legal drinking age is allowed to play.

3. Take a shot if I swear.

4 Take two if I do a combination of swears.

Starting now.

Since I feel like being a fucking jerk, I am gonna swear so much that the world will echo in screams of agonizing fucking hangovers.

Wonder Woman was one of the best fucking comics ever made.  She was one of the founding members of the DC Fucking Trinity along with The Goddamn Batman and the motherfucking boyscout Superman.  This in turn made her a founding member of the Justice Fucking League Of America.   She has had her share of solo and crossover comics, a TV series starring Linda Carter and many failed fucking attempts at a live action movie.  What the fuck is so hard about making a movie about Wonder Woman.  Those fucking bastards at DC and Warner must have a tin can for a brain.  I mean you made Batman and Superman almost 10 fucking times already.  Any attempt at other heroes like Steel, Constantine and the Green Fucking Lantern have scored 10 out of 10 in the shitty movie-o-meter.  So what the Fuck?   You been sitting on this fucking idea for decades.  You bastards.

Anyway the story goes like so.  Princess Diana of Themescyra was tasked to helping a crashed World War Fucking Two Pilot back to the states.  While going, she is equipped with bullet proof bracelets and a lasso that keeps people from bullshitting.   Once in the states she decides to fight the fucking Nazis while moonlighting as a fucking lawyer.  It wasn't until later on that she teamed up with the rest of the DC fucking Trinity that she became a prominent member of the Justice League.  Which is kind of shitty now since after years of us DCAU nerds trying to ship Wonder Woman with Batman thanks to the fucking Cartoon.  The Comics decide it was better that Superman dump Lois Lane for WW.  Way to go DC, you fucks killed Lianne Harper, put Roy back on the fucking Smack and now you put two people who's relationship is best described in the form of the Fuck Fest that was in the Smallville Episode "Wrath." together.  Sons of bitches.

Anyway now for the fun part.  Could It Fucking Exist In Real Life!!!?

If you guys read my Justice League analysis, you'd know that I couldn't find a real world version of Wonder Woman.  Well to my fucking surprise I realized why.  It was because Wonder Woman wasn't fucking real to begin with in a humanity sense that is.  There are known factors to take into account. 

Factor Fucking 1.  Her parents.  Hippolyta and Hades.  They Exist.  Hades was known as the Greek God of Death.  He is in charge of looking after each fucking soul that passed through the underworld and unlike most gods who fed off the love of their people, he fed off their fears.  Hippolyta also exists.  Legend has it she was the basis of not only Wonder Woman, but every single Amazon legend known in the history of the world and was a damn prominent figure in other Greek legends such as Heracles (Hercules to the fucks that don't know the original.).  

Factor Fucking 2.  In the mainstream comics, it was said that Hades and Hippolyta created Wonder Woman out of Clay and they both breathed life into her.  Which makes Wonder Woman....... Holy Sweet Merciful fucking SHIT!!!! A FUCKING GOLEM!!!  For those who don't know, a Golem is an old ancient Hebrew Legend, in which a Rabbi constructed a Giant fucking statue out of Clay and brought it to life.  Said statue was meant to protect the Hebrew's from persecution.  That surprisingly fits into the fucking story of Wonder Woman, since she's been protecting people her whole fucking life.

Last but not fucking least, Tehmiscyra.  It not only exists, but it's not an island.  It's a fucking city.  North of Pontus where it was believed that the Bulk of the Amazon Race Resided.  I found this out by accident so you could tell I am at a loss for words.  Holy Shit.

As usual debate argue and let me know what I fucking missed.  Stay Tuned For More.

Since there is still room here I might as well pay tribute to George Carlin

1. Shit
2. Piss
3. Cunt
4. Fuck
5. Cocksucker
6. Motherfucker
7. Tits
8. Fart
9. Turd

Enjoy your hangover fuckers.


Yu-gi-oh had a rather interesting story.  It started out as the Japanese equivalent to Saw, but then degraded to nothing but solving every single problem with card games.  When I first watched this show,  like many others I watched the 4kids version of the original show.  However I often considered Season 0 or the Manga to be a lot better. This franchise had it's fair share of shows, movies and video games.  As well as something that set off the defection detector of this site.

The story begins with Yugi Mutou (Moto in the english dub.)  a quiet lonely teenager that's constantly bullied by Jonoucuhi (Joey)  and Honda (Tristan.).  His only friends being Anzu (Tea) whom he has a crush on and his grandfather. He also holds a dark secret in which he is putting together an ancient puzzle box known as the Millennium Puzzle, in hopes that he would use it's dark powers to grant his wishes.  However, Jonouchi steals one of the pieces and tosses it in the an aquaduct.  Ushio, the hall monitor beats them up for Yugi despite his protests and claim that they are friends.  This causes Jonouchi to have a change of heart and he gets the last piece of the puzzle.  This unleashes a darker side of Yugi who challenges Ushio to a Shadow Game, where the loser or cheater is subject to a harsh penalty. 

The original format goes like so, Yugi or a friend of his ends up in danger, Yugi tries to help and gets beaten for his troubles,  his dark side. (Later known as Yami/Atem) bails them out by engaging them in a supernatural version of the game of the week. To be honest I liked that premis better than the same recycled card game crap.  Yu-Gi-Oh literally means king of games, not just card games but all games.

Now for the fun part Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with the Shadow Games,  not much to say, but they are nothing more than Supernaturally enhanced versions of real life games.  From Digital Pets, to Chess and even Card Games.  As well as some of the more brutal games that Yami dishes out.

Next is the millennium items. While the Items themselves do not exist the concept does.  The Millenium Items were originally created to punish thieves stupid enough to try to rob the graves of the pharaoh.  These exist in the form of booby traps and some items laced with poisons and hallucinogens that could lead the thieves to believe that they were cursed.  Howard Carter's men learned that the hard way when they dug up Tut.

Last but not least is the concept of Duel Monster Cards. This exists in two ways.  One the cards are ordinary playing cards that are still around to this day.  The other is something I just found.  A video on youtube by Kaintheheartbreaker.  He created a protoype augmented reality designed to literally recreate the monsters through the same concept Seto Kaiba did through the use of holograms.

Now as usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.


I'm not saying it........