Internet Defense League


Friday, 31 May 2013

The Adventures of ST Filmmaker #5

This is a lot shorter than the last ones but I just love hospital type situations even if I do cop out.

Thursday, 30 May 2013


What can I say about Beetlejuice.  What started out as an idea for a dark gothic horror, became the best known black comedy....wait a minute.   How is that possible?  Didn't the internet trolls of Youtube state that if you switch genres, you ruin the movie?  Well nuts to you assholes, youtube wasn't invented in the 80s and you haven't heard of Tim Burton.  There was a time when Burton was the king of outsider movies, between the late 80s to the early 2000s.   However this was what put him on the map.  After directing The Uncle Andy's Funhouse knock off Pee Wee's Big Adventure. (I kid of course since I love both Kaufman and Reubins respectively.)  Burton was taken seriously as a director, he was just working on the script for Batman and needed to do something in between.  Enter Michael McDowell who made a script called The Maitlands. In which the story was more darker, less comic, and Sammy Davis Jr. would have been the title villain. However upon rewriting it became a lighter comedic tone which is surprising given the fact of the subject at the time: Death. The movie while highly successful spawned only a few mediums, from a hit kid show to a possible sequel.

The story begins like so.  We have Adam and Barbara Maitland who are a happy loving couple....hang on.

Huh I thought I heard something.  Anywho, the maitlands were a happy couple who were on the verge of having their first child. However Tragedy strikes as they die in a horrific automobile accident and return to the house as spirits.   To make matters worse their house has been sold to the Deetzes, a wealthy family who tear down their hard work and turn their once old fashioned country house, into an abstract art piece.  Sick of their home being torn apart they try to scare the Deetzes away.  However finding out they can't see them save for their gothic daughter Lydia; as well as receiving little to no help from the bureaucracy that is the afterlife, they enlist the help of a self proclaimed "Bio-Exorcist" Named Betelgeuse (And yes that is spelled that way.)  Who is a shape shifting poltergeist that can only be summoned by saying his name 3 times.  However upon calling him the Maitlands regret their mistake and try to stop him before he goes on a rampage.

Now for the part we been waiting for. Could It Exist In Real Life?

For starters the afterlife being a bureaucracy. It could exist.  The afterlife in Beetlejuice was based off of a modern version of Yama a Buddhist myth in which the titular character is the judge of who goes to heaven, hell, reincarnation.  He was also the inspiration for King Yemma of Dragon Ball Z fame.

Last but not least is the titular character Betelgeuse.  He exists in three ways.  The first is the obvious.  If you look up to the sky and see the constellation of Orion.  if you look at the shoulder not holding the Bow and arrow you'll see the star there. That star is Betelgeuse.  Second is how he is summoned, by saying his name 3 times.  That concept was based off the novelty batrhroom game "Bloody Mary" In which if you are in the bathroom and say her name 5 times she is supposed to appear.  However I advise not to play that game for even if she doesn't exist, it will screw you up mentally.  Third and finally is what he is.  Betelgeuse is a poltergeist.  Which is commonly known as a trickster ghost.  What makes this ghost unique is unlike haunters which are the ones the Maitlands are. (Which are limited to the home they haunt.) BG can go anywhere and haunt anything.  He wasn't BS'ng when he said he was the Ghost With The Most. 

As usual debate argue and let me know what I miss.  Stay Tuned For More.

Oh Shit....

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has been known for 4 decades as one of the most iconic of franchises. It has had 6 different comic companies producing them, 5 Television shows, 4 theatrical films, one development hell reboot and video games that reach way back to the ancient NES times.  I myself first saw this phenom, watching the first 3 movies and reruns of the old Fred Wolf series.   The first movie being my absolute favorite.  Though I don't see why it was heavily criticized, the swearing I get, but they complained about the violence too.  That in my opinion it's stupid on 2 accounts.  1.  It's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Ninja kind of implies there is gonna be fighting. Even the lighter 80s show wasn't lacking in the fights.  2. It's not the first family friendly movie to use violence or swearing: Home Alone being the prime example which was made around the same year. But I ramble on, this article isn't for ranting and reviewing. I'll save that for my next Straight Up Reviews.

The story begins with 4 Turtles and a Rat who get exposed to a mysterious chemical known only as Ooze. Upon exposure, they grow up into the size of humans and become intelligent enough to talk like them too. The Rat named Splinter, using the memories of his previous owner, Hamato Yoshi: a master of ninjitsu, decides to train the Turtles in the martial art in order to fight crime and avenge Yoshi's death.  Upon their training and vigilantism they make fast friends with April O'Neil: a former science assistant, and Casey Jones: another vigilante who specializes in sporting goods weapons. They also made enemies of The Shredder, the leader of the Cult like Ninjitsu gang The Foot Clan and Baxter Stockman, a mad scientist with many robotic minions and an unhealthy obsession with former assistant April. 

Now for the big question, Could It Exist In Real Life?

Now the Turtles and Splinter as stated, are just regular ordinary turtles and rat.  Their secret to mutation is the Ooze.  In the original Mirage Comics the Ooze was revealed to be created by T.C.R.I.  (T.G.R.I in the movie series.) A science research company with mysterious dealings.  Upon later research, said company turned out to be a haven for an alien race called the Ultroms. Peaceful aliens that crashed landed on earth and creators of advanced technology such as the titular Ooze.  The Ooze itself is known to increase the size, strength and intelligence of a species.  While I could go on about possible evolution of what animal these aliens could evolve from and use advanced tech as a cop out, I have found a better way. As you recall in my Secret of NIMH article, I told you that the orginization NIMH was real but, I wasn't sure if they made smart mice and rats yet.  According to science daily  they did.  In 2009 NIMH, National Institute of Mental Health created a super smart rat named Hobby-J during an experiment to cure Alzheimers disease.  As a result the rat became super smart and have an excellent memory.  Kind of like a certain rat that mimicked his master's martial arts moves.   As for the other attributes such as their size, that could contribute to a type of Growth hormone in the ooze.  If they could do that to rats imagine, what they can do to turtles.

As usual debate, argue, and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More. COWABUNGA!!!!

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Straight Up Reviews #1: Teen Titans Go!

I figured after 75 posts of defictionalization topics and crappy comic storylines I would like to start a new segment on CIER.  As many who read my FAQ would know I love Channel Awesome, they are pretty much what got me into doing deficitionalization in the first place. That being said I also like media and media reviews in general. So I thought I would take a crack at it myself.  This was something I wanted to do for a while, but never worked up the courage to do so.....until now.  However upon thinking of an idea of what to review first something struck me and this is a lesson to future reviewers too.  If you want to do a review, be it as a hobby, a job or simply for the lulz, the best way to debut is often either: The most recent, what you like or what you despise. I myself am gonna start with the first two today.  Something recent and something I like.  Teen Titans Go!

First a little personal history:

As a kid I got my start on the Titans with the game Teen Titans Battle Blitz.  At the time I didn't know any of the Titans, save for Robin and often tried to beat the game with him.  Robin was a favorite character of mine and even the god awful Batman and Robin movie didn't shake off his awesomeness for me.  However while playing the game I was confused about the other characters. To me they were that green guy, that orange girl that hooded guy (before I found out that was a girl too.) and that robot guy.  However upon watching the show a couple of years later I have come to love and respect Beast Boy, Starfire, Raven and Cyborg.  However despite that I never even know of the team's existence prior to the cartoon.  Flash forward to a couple years after watching said cartoon. I was in highschool at the library.  To my surprise there was comic books in there as well as two items of interest.  The first was the DC encyclopedia which helped bring me up to speed on the Titans both old, new and current.  The second was the first Teen Titans Comic I ever read in my life: Judas Contract.  It was then and there that it answered more questions than I bargained for.  All I wanted to know was who the Titans were. Instead not only have I gotten that, but also the Origin of Nightwing, whom I was aware of since I was one of the few here that actually grew up watching the DCAU. While I like Justice League, I respect the Titans more because they done feats that make JLA look like Janitors League.

Now for a little real history for those who don't know what I am talking about:

The Titans themselves were first written in 1964 in the comic Brave and The Bold #54. The original conception being that many of the original Titans are comprised of sidekicks of the mainstream superheroes.  There was Robin, Wonder Girl, Aqualad and Speedy.  Eventually the team broke up and new teams were created.  If you would like to know more about the history check out the following sources:

DC Universe Encyclopedia.
Atop The Fourth Wall: March of The Titans by Linkara
RebelTaxi99 (Note: Beware of his stalker crush on Raven.)
The damn comics themselves.

The comics sprouted many adaptations such as a mini spin-off of Superfriends along with the well known Cartoon Series that ran from 2003 - 2006 and Young Justice.  You may have fooled millions of other DC fans, YJ but you're not fooling me all you did was use a title of a different superhero team.   God I hate that show.

The Cartoon adaptation as well as the Go series I am reviewing was adapted from what fans call the "Wolfman Perez Era" of the Teen Titans. Which first introduced Raven, Starfire and Cyborg, as well as intergrated Beast Boy into the group after the annihilation of his former team Doom Patrol. The name itself derived from creators Marv Wolfman and George Perez. Who's specific works of "Judas Contract." and "Terror of Trigon." Pretty much made the 2nd and 4th season milestones.  However as good as that show was despite it's criticism from comic and DCAU fan alike, it didn't last after the fifth season and was canceled.

6 years later a series of shorts starring the cast of the series began to surface and were well liked for their self parody and comedic approach to the series.  This gave Cartoon Network an idea which many fans perceived as "The day Young Justice died." However in my humble opinion that show was dead before the shorts were conceived.  One Year Later, that idea became Teen Titans Go! A sitcom style cartoon series, that show our respective heroes when they aren't out saving the world.  And the majority fandom of the old series hated it with a passion.   I myself didn't know what to make of it upon watching the first 2 episodes.  However I come to love the show because it gives me my favorite type of comedy: Characters on Downtime.  A concept in which it shows famous characters day to day lives outside of their respective duties. Something they should have done a lot now a days because it shows us a side of our heroes that we never usually see.

First let's start with the animation.  That was the weakest link of the series for it was obvious adobe flash.  The same product that produced Atomic Betty or the even more memetically known Friendship is Magic.  However it was still watchable which is normally a challenge for flash animators.

Second the characters. Since the focus is more on the team and less on the evils they fight we get to know them better.

Robin goes from a charismatic leader that thinks of others before himself to a sadistic workaholic jerkass that is willing to tear gas the rest of the team just to get a ride to the dollar store.....wait why is that a good thing? Eh screw it it's funny.

Starfire in this portrayal makes the one in the original show look smarter.  She is also quite vain with the added role reversal.  Rather than her being obsessively in love with Robin and him barely noticing. It's the other way around.  To make matters even worse she compares her hair being messed with as bad as, someone losing an arm.   She is also very gullible which leads us to our next character.

Raven suffice to say hasn't really changed much from her last portrayal. She is still the only sane Titan on the team.  However she is also very manipulative and sneaky.  She is a closet pegasister who was willing to put her friends in mortal danger, just so she can watch Fr--- I mean Pretty Pretty Pegasus in peace.  Not to mention using Starfire's gullibility to have a goose attack Robin.  Speaking of which, I have been noticing the writers of the show trying to ship Robin and Raven together. Don't believe me? Watch the show and see some clues.

Beast Boy let's face it WB, he's a Stoner.  He's completely lazy, raids the fridge and even goes as far as painting random animals green in order to slack his chores as a superhero.  And he may or may not be a vegetarian in this one. The cartoonist is really F***ING with the fandom on that one.

Then there's Cyborg: No indoor voice whatsoever. Has moodswings and is obsessed with minor things, like having a dog for a hand. What can you expect with someone who's dad is a toaster.

Despite faults that I can complain about, it's these said faults I can't help but learn to laugh at and love.  Still something about it seems vaguely familiar.

Last but not least is the story. Not really a linear one like most sitcom shows, the humor is classic at best and I love every minute of it so far.  My favorite episode being Driver's Ed, mainly because Robin goes through damaging lengths just to get a ride and the reason why you have to see to believe.  Also there's a leprechaun with a golden gun. Wow I always heard leprechauns were IRA but I never thought I'd see one.  All and all, it was nice to hear from the cast. There is also the added bonus of, many mythology gags for old comic fans as well fans of other forms of superhero mediums would enjoy.  I would say which ones but I leave it to you, the reader to find out.

I been noticing a pattern lately on the characters' behavior and story throughout the show and it finally clicked to me.  This was not just some comedy parody of the old cartoon show.  Wait a minute: Characters acting the opposite or exaggerated versions of themselves, story having little to nothing to do with the Titans heroism for the sake of comedy, leprechauns packing heat!?  OH MY GOD IT'S AN ABRIDGED SERIES!!!! CARTOON NETWORK HAS CREATED AN ABRIDGED SERIES!!!!   Wow I never thought I would live to see the day that happened. Ladies and Gentlemen for the first time on network television, there has been an abridged series.  I only hope that one day that Team Four Star will have a welcome spot to it. 

That being said the show has it's faults but give it a chance. I have a feeling that this is gonna get better by time.

As usual debate, argue, and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More, and when there's trouble, you'll know who to call.

Update: I just watched their recent episode.....Beast slammed Twilight......excuse me for a moment......................................................................HAAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA OH MY GOD NOW I LOVE THIS SHOW MORE!!!!!!!!

My inner fanboy aside I been noticing WB did that twice.  Lost Boys 3 slammed them two years prior.  It seems the Warners hate it as much as I do.

Friday, 17 May 2013

Fight Club

What started out as a book involving the darker side of consumer culture, became a cult phenomena that was so grand that we can not talk about it.  Fight club was one of those phenoms that to this day people have been trying to understand.  It was the debut novel of Chuck Palahniuk, but most people know it best as the movie starring Edward Norton and Brad Pitt.  It also spawned a video game that was a commercial flop. There has even been talks of a musical and while musicals based of phenoms have been a success (Evil Dead) Or a complete disaster (Spider-man) I can't wait for this one.   Why? Because I would love to see how they can make a musical revolving around beating each other senseless and blowing shit up.

Fight Club starts with an unnamed Narrator who fans refer to as Jack (John in the novel.)  He is an average Joe with a great job and a kickass condo.  What more can anyone ask?  Still he feels there is something missing in his life and it's affected him to the point of insomnia.  Upon seeing a doctor who advises him of an unorthodox way of curing it: See others in worse pain and pretend to empathize with them.  And it works that is until the place he goes to are "invaded" as he puts it, by Marla Singer.  A wild unpredictable girl who only goes to the seminars he goes to spite him for kicks (as well as the free coffee they serve.)  During a routine errand, Jack meets and befriends Tyler Durden, a soap salesman who has an objective view on consumer culture.On his way home he finds that his condo had been blown up and that he is now homeless for the time being.   So he calls Tyler and asks to move into his place.  Tyler obliges under a rather strange condition: "I want you to hit me as hard as you can." To which he does.  He moves in and every thursday night they get into a street fight. Onlookers insist on joining the fight and Fight Club is born. A radical form of psychotherapy in which bare-knuckle boxing is answer to any problems big or small.  Sooner or later the club escalates and more clubs are formed.  Durden, uses this to his advantage and gets club members to assign "Homework Assignments."  Which involve vandalism all over the city.   This in turn becomes the ground break for Project Mayhem.  A Terrorist organization that attacks corporate and consumer culture in order to create an anarchy Utopia.  The Narrator, overwhelmed by everything tries to shut it down only to find out a terrible secret that doesn't just involve Tyler but himself.

Now for the fun part. Could It Exist In Real Life?

Let's start with the Fight Clubs.  For starters, the novel and movie implied that Fight Clubs have been occurring long before this movie took place, so that's a big yes.  A classmate of mine once told me that his McDonalds that he works part time also had their own Fight Club.  And after the movies release there were reports of several Fight Clubs all over California some of which are legal.  Were they there because of the movie, or did the movie point them out?  We may never know because no one is supposed to talk about it.

Next is Project Mayhem.  Yes there have been Terrorist organizations almost anything that inspires control through fear is a terrorist orginization.  However many of them usually have a set goal in mind. Project Mayhem on the other hand was simply for the sake of Anarchy,  so finding a similar group would be difficult.  However there was a similar event created by the renowned hacktivist group Anonymous. However according to their Project Mayhem is in attempt to battle corruption.

Last but not least is Tyler Durden.  Could he Exist In Real Life? Yes and no.  For you see Tyler Durden is Jack.  Jack suffers from a split personality manifested by his closeted love for Marla Singer, as well as a burning desire to change his life.  As Tyler puts it.  "I look like you want to look, I fuck like you want to fuck, I am smart, capable and most importantly: I am free in all the ways that you are not." He is that side of us that if we keep caged he will get madder and crazier until he gets free.  It's better to express him in constructive ways than, repress him until he destroys everything you hold dear.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I miss.  Stay Tuned For More.

This is your life and it's ending one day at a time.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

The Adventures of ST Filmmaker #4

Well I thought it was time to introduce a new foe to ST and see how he takes it. Not only that but let's show further adventures of Chu-ey ST's lovable abomination.  Also despite me calling it a Pikachu twice now I must elaborate.  It is not a Pikachu, it is simply a Chu-ey.  End of story good bye the end. 

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Little Nemo

Well I can't sleep, so I figure I'd do another.  While I am on the subject I figure the best topic of defictionalization would be dreams. I figured since my last defict on the topic probably scared the living crap out of you, I might show you the lighter side. Case in point, Little Nemo. What started out as a comic strip that lasted until 9 years after World War 1.  Little Nemo has had a comic book, a kid's book, a video game and a movie that was a result of a 7 year stay in development hell.  But don't take my word on that one Nostalgia Critic says it all.  The first time I ever heard of Little Nemo, was from a film from the same animation company called The Princess and The Goblin.  That movie on the other hand was a hell of a lot better though. However the VHS it was on advertized an entire collection of films including the titular one.  I was hesitant to look for Little Nemo, because I didn't know what to make of it until I saw the review.  However it must have been real popular because Google made a doodle of a comic strip in Honor of Winsor McCay the creator.

The formula of the comic goes like so.  Nemo is an average ordinary kid who has a normal life, often pertaining to mischief such as stealing pies.  However upon sleeping Nemo finds himself in a dreamworld and goes off on a quest to find Slumberland.  For King Morpheus gave him a royal invitation to become playmates with his daughter Princess Camille whom Nemo is in love with.  Huh I wonder if the Watchowskis got their character from the series. Anywho in the early comics, whenever he gets close to Slumberland he ends up getting woken up and his parents scold him for waking them up with his dream related noises.

Now for the fun part.  Could Little Nemo Exist In Real Life.

Now before I say so, I have noticed in the strips that the, dreams are pretty accurate for a kid.  However it's no surprise.  For Nemo is what is commonly known as a Lucid Dreamer.  For those who don't know a Lucid Dream is where a person is well aware that they are in the dream and can even move around like it's the real world.  It's extremely rare for adults, but kids can have them by the dozen due to the Theta brainwave being higher among them.  I myself is one one of rare adults to keep that state high.  I neglected to mention Lucid Dreams in my Nightmare on Elm Street analysis because I didn't want scare people on how accurate these dreams can be.  Hell when I first realized Lucid Dreams I thought I was still awake until stuff didn't make sense. Hell it's one of the reasons I can barely sleep. I can handle the whimsical side but when the nightmares kick in, I rather have molten coffee injected into my veins.   This blog is pretty much my cure for insomnia.  Anyway getting off topic here, Nemo is a Lucid Dreamer and he can exist.  He is us.  As kids we went on wild adventures in our dreams.  We saw sights that we couldn't explain, fought monsters we couldn't comprehend and even made friends that only we could see and talk to.   However as we grow up we realize that much of it isn't real. Yet despite it we still use them as part of the drive that strives us to be who we are.  It's what causes the writer to come up with fantastic stories.  It's what causes the movie maker to show us things we cannot believe.  It's what causes someone like me to try to find the real in the world of fiction. I implore you all as dreamers,  no scratch that, as human beings, from the smallest child, to the oldest adult. Never stop dreaming, because the day we stop might be the day we stop being human.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More and seriously, pleasant dreams.


Ok I think it's asleep......

What started out as a crazy mess of side scrolling beat 'em up and racing, became a short series of games with a huge cult following.  Battletoads was one of those titles that shoulda went somewhere but didn't. And why not, there were four games, and a crossover with Double Dragon.  However while it was a well received game, much of the reason it was cast aside was because non fans of the game claimed it was a rip of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  And who can blame them the bipedal amphibians and reptiles look alike in color scheme and design on the surface. Not to mention it was competing with other TMNT knock offs such as Street Sharks and extreme dinosaurs. However unlike them who simply just retold the turtle origin story with different methods of mutation, the story of Battletoads did a better job for their own story.  When I was a kid I got introduced to Battletoads through the Super NES game, Battlemaniacs.  It's a good game but it was hard as hell to play and I could only get to the racing level.

The story goes like so, 3 unnamed human computer technicians and roommates of a popular virtual reality gaming company, (Where have I heard that one before?) were about to test the Battletoads game they created in a virtual simulation.  However it turns out to be a trap by their boss Silas Volkmire, who whisks them away in the virtual reality they created.  In the process the humans become bipedal toads with cartoonish abilities and superstrength.  While trying to get out they run a foul not only of Volkmire but also have to rescue Princess Angelica and in a unique twist one of their own friends (Pimple) from the Dark Queen, one of video game history's first female villains save for Mother Brain.  She wants nothing more than to destroy the toads and take over the universe. 

Now for the fun part Could It Exist In Real Life?

Now for starters, Virtual Reality even now has been a concept that was played with in all factions from simple gaming, to both civilian and military simulators. So obviously it exists. The fact that the Battletoads are actually human gaming technitians explains how they are able to perform such cartoonish moves like turning their fists into anvils. 

The Battletoads  themselves on the other hand are a different story, they do exist.  While in the game there are 3 and the names in the world are, Pimple, Zitz and Rash. There are actually only 2.  Their names are Tim and Chris Stamper.  That's right folks, the head of Rare software, responsible for Conker, and Banjo Kazooie as well as improving many of Nintendos games in the 90s such as Star Fox and Donkey Kong; Are the Battletoads. More specifically they are Rash and Zitz.  As for Pimple I do not know whom they based him on, but it is a mystery I plan to find out one day. 

As for Dark Queen, she is the world's first internet troll.  Think about it, they are in a futuristic/medieval  virtual world, surrounded by monsters and stuff.  She is dressed like royalty yet she talks in slang and slur no different than 90s kid and rather than simply going through all the stupidity most villains even the good ones, she wants nothing more to do than kill them. That there is a griefer an internet troll of online gaming that does nothing more than go all around cyberspace killing and taunting other game characters. 

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More.

Monday, 13 May 2013

The adventures of Professor Maple (aka S.T. Filmmaker #3)

It's been a while since I made another crappy comic, not from lack of trying, but until the Pokemon article I had a bad case of writers block.  So I decided to do a bit of mad science.  In case you are wondering where I got the name Professor Maple. It's a play on Professor Oak, both of which are named after trees, and I picked Maple because I am Canadian and I thought it would be funny to do a guy that is the opposite of Oak.  Rather than studying Pokemon he decides to go nuts and make one.

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Pocket Monsters

What started out as two games that nearly bankrupted a Nintendo branch company, became a phenomena that reached 3 decades.  Pocket Monsters, or Pokemon in the west, was considerably one of the best Franchises ever conceived by Nintendo. It has spawned numerous mediums that I can't even count and is one of the reasons gameboy didn't die off and introduced the concept of the Link Cable: A device used to connect two gameboys together.  A concept succeeded by Gameboy Color's Infared sensor and Nintnedo DS' Wi-Fi technology. That's right folks, this game was one of the founding fathers, of console to console online multiplayer games.   When I was a kid I got introduced to the game through Pokemon yellow, I was one of the few people that had a yellow gameboy color with the yellow game tied to it. I lost it though. As of now I am on a quest to beat every Generation I Pokemon game.  My favorite pokemon is Pikachu simply because it was my favorite color as a kid, yellow.

The story revolves around Trainer Red, who ventures through out all of the Kanto region training to be a master of Pokemon: creatures of various species that have special abilities, and can get captured in a sphere known as a pokeball. What goes on inside the ball I don't know.  Anywho along the way Red has to gather badges from respective Gyms in order to enter the League and battle the Elite Four: Renowned Pokemon champions. As well as Blue, a jerkass of a trainer who doesn't treat his Pokemon well and tries to fight Red thoughout the entire game.  All the while he deals with Team Rocket, a mafia like organization bent on taking over the world. This task in particular makes Red into a hero along the way. Cool kid, not even a teen yet and he manages to fight off evil.  

Now for the main event, Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with Pokemon.  Yes they can exist both literally and in theory.  For starters much of the Pokemon are ordinary animals.  Pidgey is a Pigeon, Spearrow is a Sparrow, Rattata is a Rat, Meowth is a Cat.  Even some abilities such as Water Gun are actually real there are able to spit water like a firehose such as Elephants and Dolphins.  Others like Charizard, and the three legendary birds are based of mythological animals like Dragons and Phoenixes. Then we get to the weirder ones, Pikachu a mouse like pokemon who can generate electricity. Now this is gonna shock you (PUN!!!!), but Pikachu can exist.  How? Gene splicing that's right folks.  Now we all know that scientists all over the globe are working in various ways to splice genes of various animals together.  In the case of Pikachu I theorized that it's a hybrid between a mouse, due to it's shy nature, a rabbit due to it's size and an electric eel simply because that's the only animal in the world that generates it's own electricity.  Would it work? I don't know and even if it did I doubt the result would be the cute cuddly electric machine we know and love.  Now here's another shocker (PUN!!!!) that proves it further.  Ever notice how in every single Pokemon game, that each starter town has a Pokelab. In the case of the original Kanto series, Professor Oak.  To top it off the Lab on Cinnabar island (MISSINGNO!!!!) that created Mewtwo through cloning,  what's to say they didn't do other experiments there.  Hell the scientist that created him in the movie was trying to bring his daughter back. 

Next is another concept, Battling.  This sadly exists in real life in two ways.  Since as long as we were a civilization we as a race were also capable of breaking certain laws and taboos.  One of which was Illegal Animal fighting. The most common being cock fighting which involves two roosters fighting to the death and the more obvious dog fighting.  To make matters worse in the game whenever we win a Pokemon battle, we get money from it.  When I was a kid I always wondered why that was so, and then I realized that Red and his competitor were making side bets.  Our hero ladies and gentlemen.   The other way is less of a problem (depending on the point of view.) but still a factor raised.  When not in competition the other way to level up Pokemon in a battle was to have them fight wild Pokemon.  Sometimes during the fight Red and to an extent us, would take the chance to catch the wounded Pokemon.  This my friends is called hunting.  Some do it for food, some do it for sport and some for profit.  Red does it for the second and third reason.  Catching them, or beating them to train his and profiting from the experience and money he earns in competition. Now I know what you are thinking "Pokemon don't die, they faint from battle." And I agree, that does the lucky ones.   Allow me to introduce you to......

Lavender Town, A Small Town covered in a beautiful hue of Purple.   

However despite this beautiful hue, it houses a sad tragic story.  On the right of Lavender Town, you'll find Pokemon Tower.  Anyone who is playing this game for the first time be warned, not only of the spoiler, but because what I am about to say next may ruin your childhood forever.  For Pokemon a cemetary.  All the floors of the tower save for the ground and top are lined with Pokemon Graves.  That's right folks, Pokemon is one of the first games in the world to acknowledge death.  Not only that, but it is said that their ghosts still linger on even beyond the grave.  It is also one of the places where Red meets Blue.  Now here's to make it more tragic for you.  Upon the first couple of battles, Blue had a Rattata, which later evolved into a Raticate.  However meeting him this time, no Raticate is to bee seen.....That's right folks, Red and to an extent you killed Blue's Raticate.  Tell me why Red is the hero again?

The next thing on the list is Pokeballs. However my transporter theory in Tron and Power Rangers already explained that one. In this case however the pokemon no matter how big can be shrunken down to fit inside a ball the size of an orange.  This is easy, if the theories I mentioned in the articles are true, then anything that has been converted into data can always be diverted and compressed to fit in certain objects. Much like how hard drives and flash drives can have billions of bits and bytes of data put in a small storage device.  

Now last but not least is the big one, could Red Exist in real life.  Now before I say let's do a little Background.  Trainer Red goes by many names in different incarnations. In the anime he is known by two names.  In the Japanese Dub, his name is Satoshi, while in the English Dub, we know him as Ash Ketchum. Upon researching Pokemon to try to find the earliest cover pictures I stumbled upon the creator's name:  Satoshi Tajiri.  Red and his incarnations all over the franchise were based on him as a child and as I looked further, he among most things, liked to collect bugs.  Now when starting out in the game what type of Pokemon do you end up catching first? Bug Type.  Trainer Red/Satoshi/Ash Ketchum is Satoshi Tajiri.  And it fits because what's the first thing a true legend does when he fulfills his ultimate goal?  Tell the story about it. Satoshi Tajiri, Red no matter what other gamers or Blue in your life tell you, you have always been and always will be the Pokemon Master.   Why? Because you created them.  I and all Pokemon Trainers all over the world salute you and hope you keep making the games that push us on the path in making us masters. 

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More and Catch 'Em All. 

Oh just one more thing, I was gonna put Pokemon Centers, but I realized they are too obvious to defictionalize.  Since they are vets.  As for why there are so many Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys I honestly don't know. Ask Brock, he knows the differences. Just don't mention that name.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

The Secret of NIMH

What started out as a message against animal testing, became a breakout directorial debut for legendary Animator Don Bluth.  The Secret of NIMH was considered to be the ultimate in animated storytelling.  It combines a mix of Science Fiction, Science Fact and Fantasy Magic, along with a story all about a mother risking life and limb to protect her sick child.  When I was a kid I only saw part of the movie, and was mystified at it.  It took me till yesterday to work up the courage to watch the whole movie beginning to end and it was worth every minute.  And for fellow Channel Aweseome Fan's it is one of Doug Walker's personal favorites. I could see why. Now I must warn you, there will be spoilers, so if anyone reading this, has not seen this movie, you turn off your computer right now, go on Netflix if you have it and Movie stores if you don't and watch it right now!!! I mean it.  You are absolutely forbidden to read any further until you do.  Ok you been warned.

It all starts in a field  Fitzgibbons' farm, where a field mouse, Mrs Elizabeth Johnathan Brisby and her four children live.  Her youngest, Timothy Brisby has fallen ill and she seeks the help of Mr. Ages, a fellow mouse, who is a doctor and an engineer.  Ages diagnoses Timothy with Pneumonia and gives her the medicine needed in order to bring the fever down.  However he advises that Timothy must stay in bed for 3 weeks.  This makes the situation worse for Mrs. Brisby, since moving day is upon her house and they must move or else the Farmer's tractor will destroy it, killing her and her kids along with it. So she goes on a journey to seek out the Great Owl, who in turn tells her to seek out Nicodemus and the Rats of NIMH who have the means both scientific and magic to help Brisby and her kids.  Along the way she meets Jeremy, a clumsy crow (And Dom Deluise's first of many roles in Bluth's animated movies.) looking to build a love nest for a potential love bird and inadvertently becomes a pawn in a plot to kill Nicodemus by an Evil Rat named Jenner. 

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with NIMH,  for those who have seen the movie. NIMH is an acronym (PUN!!!) for National Institute For Mental Health.  They were known in the movie as the second main antagonist to Mouse and Rat alike for their experiments performed on them as well as their attempt to exterminate the Rats. This can exist in real life.   Only there is no similar name or orginization, there really is a NIMH out there.  Same name, same acronym and they are even known for their experiments on animals to further interest in mental health science.  As for them making super intelligient rats and mice, that's debatable.  There is no record of them ever doing that, but you never know.

Now I know what you're thinking "What about the other talking animal characters like Mrs Brisby, Jeremy and The Shrew? They weren't part of the escaped rats of NIMH."  Well yes I can agree how could they move and talk like ordinary people if they weren't part of the escaped 20? With Mrs Brisby I can explain.  Throughout the entire film there was one particular mouse of NIMH that was spoken about, Johnathan Brisby.  He was essentially the folk hero of the story and the reason why many of the characters such, as the Great Owl gave a rat's ass (PUN!!!) about Mrs. Brisby's need.  Since he was super smart, he would be able to teach his wife the basic intelligences such as reading and talking.  This could be possible because anyone with a camera and a youtube account can tell you that you can teach animals certain tricks and human like skills.  It also shows that with or without the NIMH experiments, other animals such as mice and rats could evolve into sapient like species through certain teachings. It also explains how animals like the Rabbits and Dragon the Cat don't say a word of Dialogue.

Now onto the other concept of NIMH that is often debated: Magic.  While it is shown frequently throughout the film from the magic stone Mrs. Brisby carries to the other workings that Nicodemus uses behind closed doors.  However there are two debatable schools of thought on the matter.  The first being that magic exists at least in this story.  That since Magic is part of nature and the animals also part of nature, that animals are more in tune with the world of magic than humans.  Further proven when Mrs. Brisby's love for her kids, is what caused her to telekinetically move her house away from the sinking mud. However as we reach the age of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, another school of thought pops up.  That the Magic in NIMH is really just an advanced science.  If that was the case, Don Bluth and Author Robert C. O'Brien are way ahead of their time in terms of story. 

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I misdeed. Stay Tuned For More and please remember Timothy.