Internet Defense League


Thursday, 19 December 2013

Friday, 13 December 2013

Thursday, 12 December 2013

Saturday, 30 November 2013

Straight Up Reviews #15 Final Destination All

First time I ever reviewed a series rather than a single individual in the bunch.  Don't expect much from FD though.

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Tron and Tron Legacy

Who doesn't like Tron? This is probably one of the few Scientific CIEIRS I ever did.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

The Adventures of S.T. Filmmaker Episode 1: Riffin Cometh

Based off a webcomic I did a while back. I was originally gonna do an animated version, but I suck at animating.  So I decided to bring back something only Shadow fans and Whovians may understand, Audio Drama's. Enjoy.

The sounds and music is credited to this site below:

Jurassic Park Audio Edition

Dinosaur making is more real than you think.

Captain America Audio Edition

The Super Soldier is more real than you think.

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Friday, 15 November 2013

Legend Of Zelda: Link's Awakening

My fourth CIEIR as well as 6th CIEIR Audio, and one of the most realistic for a video game.

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Straight Up Reviews #12: Another

My first audio SUR, but my 12th one altogether. You can find the rest on my site.
Sound clip used from: Nostalgia Critic eSults: For Whenever Something Good Happens.

Update: Major screw up in regards to the Live Action movie. It was already made in August of 2012.  The 2015 movie I got my source from was wikipedia but there was no info regards to it.

Update: Upon rematching this anime  I got inspired to do a haiku:

Students turn up dead.

Calamity has begun

Mei does not exist.

Saturday, 9 November 2013

Zelda 2: Audio Version

The Second of my re-creations of my Text Analysis.  Enjoy.

Huell Waits

I like most people love the ending to Breaking Bad.  But I couldn't help but think we forgotten something.....oh crap.

Thursday, 7 November 2013

Tuesday, 5 November 2013


What started out as one of many works between Stan Lee and the late great Jack Kirby, blossomed into one of the many commercial characters that helped put Frank Miller on the map.  Daredevil was one of those comics that proved, that you don't have to see to be a hero. It has had an ongoing legacy of Comics, development hell on TV including the well known Trial of the Incredible Hulk and the lesser known draft that Stirling Silliphant (Whom early before made a similar TV character by the name of Longstreet who was trained by the late Bruce Lee. .)  An infamous film starring Ben Aflleck, I myself liked the movie and my mother liked the song that was in the that I taken a moment to look for lynch mobs.  As well as frequent cameos in other animated series, most famously the episode of Spider-man where Peter Parker was framed.  And finally many many video games from Marvel Ultimate Alliance to Capcom vs Marvel.  I first heard of Daredevil in an old Spider-man game I played for the 64.  He had a small but important role as well as being one of a few heroes in the end of the game playing Go Fish.  So you see kids Disney didn't have to censor Marvel's gambling because Activision did it first.  Anywho on with the story.

Meet Matt Murdock A kid growing up in Hell's Kitchen New York.  A well known city that got passed TV censors in Extreme Ghostbusters.  Matt's father was a boxer who wanted his son to have a better life and education that he did.  After saving a blind man from being hit by a truck Matt gets radioactive chemicals splashed onto his face.  Said chemicals make him blind, while at the same time enhancing his other four senses to superhuman levels.  He could hear better than the average ear, Identify specific particles through taste, know who is near him by individual scent and even using touch to read print as if it were braille.   In addition, he develops a Radar sense similar to echolocation.  Inspired by Matt, his father Jack got back into boxing.  However upon refusal to throw a fight he is murdered.  Sick of the crime overshadowing the helpless, Matt grows up and becomes a Pro-Bono lawyer by day and the masked Vigilante by night.  Armed with his senses and high tech billy club, Daredevil seeks to take back New York one city block at a time. Along the way he makes enemies from psychos like professional Hitlady Typhoid Mary to his most hated, Wilson Fisk, Aka the Kingpin.

Now for the fun part Could It Exist In Real Life?

First off let's start with Daredevil's billy club.  A multipurpose tool that also functions as Matt's White Cane when he's not fighting crime.  While it could be possible with the right tools to make it an all in one weapon. Each weapon and gadget it was based off of does exist in real life.  First off, the original stick is 2 attached to with a wire in between, that's a nunchucku.  However the wire disconnects making it two separate sticks.  That's the Eskrima. They can also stick together forming a staff and lastly the wire's longevity helps it function like a grappling hook.

Next and last is Daredevil himself.  He can exist.  It is well known that the blind have enhanced senses.  That's because loss of vision or in a worse scenario; loss of the eye itself cause the impulses normally generated there to travel to other parts of the body.  Kinda like how if you have a motor and a lightbulb in a parallel circuit and the lightbulb goes out,  the generator still runs, but because the battery power can't reach the bulb anymore so what does it do? It boosts the motor.  However contrary to popular belief, it wasn't the radiation that gave him these abilities.  All it did was destroy his eyes causing his other senses to compensate.  Now I know what you're thinking "But the radar sense he had to have gotten it from the waste." Nope. This was something I discovered by accident.  It's called human echolocation in which humans rely on sound in order to detect obstacles. In fact many real life humans such as Ben Underwood have trained to develop it in order to compensate for blindness.  As for Daredevil's superhuman like feats, he was a trained martial Artist and Acrobat.  Real martial arts is all about being able to adapt yourself and adapting to your opponent.  Daredevil was blind so in order to adapt he used his other senses and natural echolocation to function in a world he couldn't see.  In other words, much like the Hulk, he had his powers the whole time.  He just never developed them until now.

As usual debate, argue and let me know  what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.  

Saturday, 2 November 2013

Straight Up Reviews #11: Terminator Salvation

This movie I'm indifferent to.  There are some things I despise about it, while there are some things I liked about it.  For those that don't know, Salvation is the fourth installment of the Terminator Franchise a series all about Mankind's war against the machines.  In this case the war just started and John Connor has to work up to the ranks in order to be the future's only hope.  In this one, Connor himself replaced Nick Stahl and Edward Furlong with Christian Bale.  That's where things went downhill.   Bale is not a bad actor and he does try his best to pick up where Stahl left off, but I fail to see him as Connor if anything he would have been more fit to be Reese who is now played by new great actor Anton Yeclhin.  While Yelchin's performence and added bonus of looking like a young Michael Biehn is questionable to say the least.  He doesn't do a bad job, but this Reese seems to take being in an apocalypse as equal to getting a paper cut.  I mean I watched the original films, Reese hated the future, but he was used to it to a point where he couldn't handle being in the past.  A deleted scene showed him admiring but at the same time, retroactively missing the beauty Earth had to offer because by his time it's all gone.  The story itself had some good and bad moments and one of the best moments, Marcus Wright is underrated.  The guy starts out in the past, as a man on death row atoning for people he's killed and trying to be useful in life.  He donates his body to Cyberdine Systems and somehow ends up in the future.  Upon getting wounded he is taken to Connor's compound for medical treatment and they discover something horrible.  Connor himself interrogates Marcus, while keeping him chained.  Much to both their confusion Marcus insists he is human.  Then Connor has him look for himself.  Much to Marcus' horror, he has become a Terminator Prototype.  This scene is one of my favorites because it brings some horror elements that 3 never had and that 2's action scenes overlapped.  It was as if James Cameron took over for one scene before leaving saying "Good luck with your crappy sequel. When you're done with Sam, I'm gonna need him for Avatar."  I mean it's not just horrifying it's 1960s Twilight Zone Twist horrifying.  This guy who has another chance at life becomes a literal killing machine.  If anything they should have ended it there, left it ambiguous and used the rest of the movie to make Terminator 5.  Now before I continue, I would like to take a moment and blaspheme among Terminator fans.  While it has it's flaws I liked the third that I have checked to make sure there's no angry mob of Arnold look-alikes let me explain:  I can take that it's too actionized and craps on Cameron's first two movies, but I can also justify the Terminator's existence despite them destroying all potential reverse engineers.  I can justify this movie with two scenes: In the climax of 2, while fighting the T-1000, The T-800 has an arm stuck in a set of gears and has to rip it off to keep fighting. Said arm is still in the gears waiting to be discovered by cops and Cyberdyne's military investors The U.S. Airforce Cyber Research Facility.  Or CRS for short.  The other scene, when they blew up Cyberdine.  Aside from what they were working on we are never told of Cyberdyne's reputation.  For all we know they only blew up it's L.A. Branch and it could be a worldwide originization.  While in the early 90s, you couldn't use the internet to transfer files from one world to another, you could still keep them stored on discs, journals and the like.  Someone could easily make back ups even if they aren't qualified to continue Mile's Dyson's work.  Long story short, there is at least two plausible ways for T-3 to happen.   Anywho, my one major problem with this story was the ending.  Connor gets stabbed and Marcus gives him his heart, which is human but very poweful.  Before you guys say it, yes, blood types and transplanting are known factors to consider to avoid rejection, however one could say that Marcus' heart is both organic and mechanical.  Think an artificial heart with half a real heart on it. Medical mumbo jumbo aside, this whole movie would have been a lot better if the ending had Reese been stabbed instead of Connor.  How do I know that? Reese himself said it himself.

Kyle Reese: Taking out Connor then would make no difference. Skynet had to wipe out his entire existence.

Reese is Kyle's father, he hasn't been sent back yet and only knew John as an urban legend at the time.  One of the people Marcus was atoning for, was his younger brother and he clearly sees Kyle and Star as surrogate siblings, teaching them survival tricks that Kyle later picks up in Terminator 1. And he was more than willing to kill Connor, if he got in his way.  So in away he'd save his brother by saving Kyle.

Now aside from the teeter totter story there is some plus sides to it.  This was the last movie to feature effects supervised by the late Stan Winston, who created the titular machines.  The classics are all there, T-800s, HK Kites and a few T-1s and HK Tanks.   However there are new ones in the playing field.   We got the T-600.  A more bulky version of the 800, with Rubber skin partially over parts of it.  But as Kyle noted, they are easy to spot and easier to destroy.  We also got Hydrobots, which help bring the series back their original horror elements.  The MotoTerminators, If Christine could breed they would be the babies.  Last but not least my personal favorite,  The HK Harvester.  This machine was hinted at throughout the first movie, as the thing that captures humans and put them in camps for orderly disposal.  And it didn't disappoint, this thing does what it takes to capture them.

All and all the movie has it's peaks and valleys, but if you want some kind of satisfaction, it at least kept the franchise alive long enough for Arnold to step out of office and reclaim his role.  However it doesn't deserve all the flack that's been thrown at as they at least tried.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More. I'll be back

Oh and in case you are wondering. Straight Up means no bullshit.

Friday, 1 November 2013

Top 5 Badass Mom's in Movies

Over the years people have underestimated mothers.  As kids we see them as nagging, annoying, uncool adults that can't relate to us whatsoever.  However at one point if we were ever in any danger they would drop what they were doing and become dangerous animals capable of tearing a grown man apart if they wanted to.  This shows us that deep down that they still love us and why we should love them.  Now not every parent is perfect.  Some of which depending on the family you live with, would do acts that are the opposite of what a mother or father should do.  I for one don't deem them as true parents because it's not about blood, it's the heart that pumps it.  This Top List shows examples of characters who if you take the settings away are Mothers defending their children. 

5. Pamela Voorhees:

Now I know what you're thinking "But she's a bad guy and her son is already dead." And you're right.  However she doesn't have to defend just her own kid, in order to use those instincts. What set her off was when her son Jason drowned and the counselors were too busy having sex in the woods.  Rather than simply mourn like most parents do, she took it upon herself to make sure Camp Crystal Lake was closed to make sure other kids don't suffer the same fate.  A legacy her son inherited upon her death.  Don't believe me? The first clue was at the very beginning, the killer was in the Kid's Cabin before he/she went off to kill the counselors. That scene seemed like a pointless thing. However, when it was revealed to be Mrs. Voorhees, the scene takes on a whole new light.  She was checking on the children, making sure all were accounted for, an act Jason Voorhees himself did in Part 6. And for someone her age, she was perfectly capable of tossing a grown man through a window so what does that say about that?

4. The Bride from Kill Bill: 

Much like Mrs. Voorhees, she thought her own child was dead.  Unlike Pamela though she was younger, well trained in many forms of combat and going after those that truly deserved it.  However upon finding out that her daughter still lives, she wastes no time killing the titular Bill. Watching the volumes from beginning to end gives me the impression that all those killings, from the mooks, to the 3 she did get, (Would have been 4 but one of the 3 got him first.) leading up to this moment;  It gives me the impression that she was being kind compared to Bill.  She held back and even spared some of the mooks who either had severed limbs or minor cuts and bruises. Then when Bill came around she pulls no stops and uses a Dim Mak on him. 

3. Donna Trenton from Cujo:

Now this is kinda cheating because Cujo is a book as well, but Dee Wallace plays it well despite the negative reviews.  For those who don't know Cujo, it's a story of one of the world's deadliest creatures and the Rabid Dog stupid enough to mess with her kid.  Unlike Pamela, she was not insane and unlike the Bride, she had no training whatsoever in terms of combat.  What she did have was the early symptom of rabies and a baseball bat.  When her son was suffering from Sunstroke and it was made perfectly clear that they were gonna die, Donna made one last stand and won and in the end depending on which one you liked best, the son either lived or died.  Who woulda thought the mom from E.T. could be such a badass.

2.  Ellen Ripley from Aliens:

As I said earlier it's not about blood, but the heart that pumps it.  Ripley after surviving the events of Alien is set to go back to the planet she feared, with a crack team of marines to wipe them out once and for all.  Upon searching for them as well as survivors, Ripley stumbles upon Newt, a little girl who managed so survive the onslaught with no weapons or training.  Then and there she adopts her and proceeds to protect her every step of the way.  From surviving a facehugger attack to facing off against the Alien Queen twice.  Which is a bonus because it's a mother fighting a mother.  The first time all she had was a gun and a flame thrower and manage to bluff the Queen into letting her and Newt go simply by using it's own Motherly Instincts against it.  The second time while she had help using a Mech Loader, she proceeded to knock the Queen out into space.  TV Tropes even helped immortalize her iconic line as the main page for their Mama Bear trope. "Get away from her you BITCH!!!"

1.  Sarah Connor in Terminator 2:

This person is a mother personified.  While she did have her moments in the first Terminator movie, they were only saved till near the end.  However if you take away all the machines, the explosions and other things that made the movie so great you could clearly see, from the dialogue to the action its all about a mother raising and protecting her son in a bit of a twisted way.   Each scene involving her and talking about her shows that she covers all the steps.   When John Connor talks about her having him trained by the best military men that can be translated into her giving him the best education she could find.  When Silberman mentions that he intends to keep her committed for the next 6 months it's the equivalent of Child Welfare saying 'You're never gonna see your kid again.".....It took three people to restrain her from strangling him.  When she finds out Skynet is still around, she breaks out using nothing but a paper clip a broomstick and a syringe full of drain cleaner.  Finally Near the end while wounded no less, she proceeds to empty round after round of a twelve gauge auto-loader into the T-1000.  If she hadn't have run out of bullets she would have been the one to finish him off instead of AHnold. 

Now I know what you're thinking. "But these are just movies, no real mother is capable of something like that." 
Check these out and then tell me I am full of shit.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More.

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Straight Up Reviews #10: Friday the 13th: The Tommy Jarvis Trilogy

As noted in my CIEIR of the subject. I love Friday The 13th.  However many regard this series as trashy.  Even media mogul Roger Ebert slammed every single one of them on the grounds that it was nothing but sex and Violence.  While I respect Ebert as both a critic and as well as the obvious respect for the dead rest his soul; this is something I disagree with.  When I watched the Documentary "His Name Was Jason." Sean S. Cunningham, the series creator and director of the first said he wanted to do a knock off of Halloween that he wanted people to enjoy.  However rather than just the psychological aspect, they managed to combine in with the gore-fest aspect that was  made famous by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  This in turn created an overlooked supergenre I like to call PsychoGore.  Where if done right can have both the mind fucked generousness of the psychological horrors and satisfy our blood-lust.  While it's debatable I believe they succeeded, but not in the first movie.  See the first movie was good, but there was a better aspect in the later sequels.  These specific ones I call, the Tommy Jarvis Trilogy.

For those who don't know what I am talking about here's the brief summary. I'd say spoilers but we all know this one. After the events of the 3rd movie, Jason Voorhees is being taken to a morgue where he miraculously recovers.  He kills two orderlies and makes his way back to Crystal Lake.  Only instead of the camp, he finds himself on the other side of the lake.  There he discovers two houses, one owned by the Jarvis family: A relatively nice bunch who's youngest, Tommy (Named after FX Guru Tom Savini and played by Corey Feldman.) is obsessed with making monster masks and other effects.  The other house is being rented by our recent cannon fodd--- duh I mean a bunch of carefree teenagers,  while they do have personalities and are all around nice people, many of them are pretty token.  We got the token prankster womanizer in the form of Ted, A token nerd in the form of Jimmy whom unlike the stereotype did have a girl, but got out of a bad relationship with her, a token one-man woman with a reputation of more than one in the form of Samantha, a token prude in the form of Sarah, her role in this series is putting up with Samantha's attempts to help her loosen up, a token Casanova in the form of Paul, Samantha's boyfriend, a nice guy who knows how to set the party moods and a token nice guy in general, Doug, he is kinda sorta Sarah's love interest. They are also accompanied by twins, Tina and Terri.  Tina also doubles as the Token slut. Seriously so far the only person she hasn't made a move on was was Doug, but that's because she tried making a move into another couple's territory.  She finally settles on Jimmy. Terri, while also hinted to be just as promiscuous is the more sane of the two.  Now you're probably thinking "S.T. what you said was not only sexist, but give these guys a chance.  Joseph Zito wanted to make them more developed than the usual teen cannon fodder." and I would agree with you. However take away their over all nice guy/girl personas away and they are just another group Jason is gonna kill.  Granted these characters are more developed and interact really well with the other main characters, but aside from Sarah finally losing her virginity and Jimmy getting a second chance at a girlfriend not much is developed.  Anywho there is still one more character to talk about.  Rob Dyer, a hunter who meets the Jarvis' and sets up camp outside their house.  Tommy sees him as the big brother he never had and Trish, his sister sees him as a potential love interest.  However this peace is shattered once Jason is thrown into the mix.  After he makes way with all the token teens Jason, just to be a hypocritical jerk kills Mrs. Jarvis, Tommy and Trish's mother, leaving Rob, Tommy and Trish to be the last on the chopping block.  It is then and there that Rob reveals that "Shh Be vewy vewy quiet I'm hunting kiwwers ehehehehehehehe!!!"  Mainly because Jason offed his sister in the second movie.  Much like another certain expert named Rob, he is killed pretty quickly leaving Trish to defend the house and her brother.  Eventually in the end it is Tommy, using his skills to imitate a younger Jason; who ends up killing him in the end.  This traumatizes him enough that he had to be sent to an institution.

Now one thing that intrigues me about this trilogy was Zito's intention.  First he wanted to give said token characters better personality.  Second was to break the standard rules of the series and rather than have a final girl get the killer, he used both a boy and a kid no less.  And third, which is the most talked about, they wanted to make Tommy Jarvis into the Next Jason Voorhees.  I for one am both glad and disappointed  that the third never happened.  Glad because Tommy is one of my all time favorite characters.  But disappointed because Jason as a Legacy character would have been an awesome idea.  They have done that lot's of times in many novelizations.  Now I don't agree with Ebert's review and I'll tell you why.  Take all the sex and violence out of the question and Final Chapter is all about growing up.  Tommy started out as an annoying kid, that panicked and screamed when Jason grabbed him.  However, he faced his fears, and got Jason in the end using his talents and a well aimed Machete.

The second movie in the trilogy, A New Beginning, takes place six years after the events in Final Chapter.  Tommy, now in his teen, has been taken into the Pinehurst Halfway House.  An institution that is meant to help delinquents and other people of various disorders.  Then and there he is met (startled.) by Reggie The Wreckless; a kid who's grandfather, George is the cook at Pinehurst.  Of course Tommy retaliates with his own created monster masks, which he lets no one touch.  No one knows exactly what happened to Trish, but strangely in this movie and the next, they treat it as if she died between films.  Now here many characters are less token than that of final chapter.  We have Matt, who runs the institute, not much is said about him, but he really is genuinely concerned about his patient's well being.  His assistant, Pam a kindly girl who shares an uncanny resemblance to Trish.  Then we have the inmates.  First is Jake, a quiet man with a stuttering problem,  Robin, not much is known about her save for Jake's pining over her, Eddie, a practical joker who is highly promiscuous, Tina, who is the other side of Eddie's Promiscuity, (Ironically the actress' last name is Voorhees.).  Violet, a lover of the punk genre, who has an interest in dance,  Victor, a bad tempered man, and Joey, a know nothing, but well meaning kid.  Before Tommy's arrival there had been a slight problem involving Tina and Eddie as they were caught having sex on the grounds that belong to Ethel Hubbard, a grouchy chicken farmer who inappropriately calls Pinehurst a loony bin.  She lives with her adult son, Junior.  If there was a personification of "Too Dumb To Live."  That wouldn't even be half of what Junior is.  Upon Tommy's arrival on the other hand, starts a slew of new problems.  During a recent scuffle, Victor murders Joey in cold blood.  He is arrested, but that only is the tip of the iceberg.  Upon his arrest, a series of murders occur at or around Pinehurst.  The police, specifically Sheriff Tucker suspect that Jason Voorhees is back in town, but the mayor says otherwise.  For it seems Jason was cremated to make sure events like Final Chapter never happened. (Which raises a lot more questions, but we'll get to that.).  The kills seem to be random at first as only a couple of 50s Greaser Style Men (Seriously what was the point of those two?).  Later while people are dealing with Victor's death, Tommy has a psychotic episode where he hallucinates the real Jason is stalking him.  Said episode becomes a break when Eddie uses one of Tommy's masks as a Joke.  This prompts Tommy to savagely beat Eddie until Matt restrains him.  Wow seeing that makes me feel Wreckless got off easy. The killings get closer to Pinehurst as Billy the hospital orderly that Dropped off Tommy as well as his girlfriend.  Then Tina and Eddie bite the dust.  That evening Tommy is invited by Pam and Reggie to visit, Reggie's brother Demon (Played by Miguel A. Nunez Jr. Who is no stranger to horror movies.)  hoping the change in scenery might help him better cope with his episodes.  However upon arriving there Tommy is accosted by Junior, which prompts him to snap and beat him up.  Strangely unlike his encounter with Eddie, this fight raised a lot of questions as it was more controlled and even almost MMA style on Tommy's part.  Like did Dan Inosanto visit him in the institution one day? did he read about martial arts to help cope with his psyche?  Did he suddenly flash forward into the future and switch places with the Power Ranger Tommy? It makes no sense.  But the messed up part is on both fights, no one ever speaks of it again. It's a Big Lipped Alligator Moment.  Anywho, he is stopped by Pam before he could do more damage, but runs off in the woods whilst Junior and Ethel are promptly slaughtered.  As well as Demon and his girlfriend.. Upon their return they discover Matt and George are missing, leaving Robin, Jake and Violet.  Now these kills are the ones I never liked, because all and unlike most characters in the series, those 3 didn't deserve it.  Jake embarrassingly tried to make a move on Robin forcing him to retreat and get hacked with a meat cleaver.  Poor guy didn't even get a chance to do it, before dying.  Robin, who wanted to apologize for laughing at him, gets offed next.  Well at least they died in bed together.  Then Violet, in a bizarre setting, she does this weird pantomime/robot dance to the song "His Eyes" By Psuedo Echo.  She is promptly gutted (In the Alternate version she was stabbed somewhere else I don't wish to mention.)  She never even did anything and she is gutted.  If anything, she was one of the nicer characters in the movie.  Her biggest mistake was setting the table for two more when said guests are gone for good reason. (One dead, the other in jail.).  Hell this dance would have been another Big Lipped Alligator Moment, had the killer not end her. This leaves Reggie and Pam as the last members.  Reggie has the fortunate timing of seeing what was left of the 3 in Tommy's Room, with  Pam being the second.  Upon trying to escape they soon run into Jason, who's back from the dead......and stole Michael Myer's boiler suit......and the triangles on his mask are a different color (Does that mean he's switched from being a Devils fan to a Leafs fan?)  Not that it matters, since Pam and Reggie run from him regardless and Reggie has the bright idea to run him down with a tractor.  However that only slows "Jason" down.  A final showdown leads to the barn next to the institute, where it seems the two are helpless.  Fortunately Tommy arrives, but upon seeing "Jason" he has another episode.  As his mind tries to figure out if what he's seeing is real or another hallucination, "Jason" promptly slashes him.  This proves real enough for Tommy as he stabs "Jason" in retaliation, whilst Pam, Reggie and He climb to the top of the barn.  With both Reggie and Tommy's help "Jason" is promptly thrown off the barn and onto a spiky pit.  His mask is off so let's see who he really is.  Why it's old man Roy Burns.  This deserves a big rewind.  See Roy Burns was a paramedic and a recurring character in this movie.  As it turns out, Joey was his son and seeing his corpse caused him to snap Mrs. Voorhees style.  He donned Jason wear in order to cover his tracks and planted the bodies in Tommy's room in hopes to frame him.  He woulda gotten away with it too, if not for a meddling kid, an adult assistant and the psychotic teenager that he intended to pin the murders on.  However not all is well as Tommy's finally driven over the edge and dons the mask for himself.

This movie wasn't as bad as most say it was, but it was poorly executed.  For one the clues were too obvious, but the kills were very realistic, more-so than Savini's work in Final Chapter.  The not so obvious clues were too well hidden, but I was able to find them.  First off Tommy wasn't the only suspect.   There was Victor as he killed before.  As well as Ethel and Junior.  I think the intention of those two were to be the polar opposites of Pamela and Jason.  Both Jason and Junior are not so smart, but where Jason is resourceful, Junior doesn't know when to shut up and is promptly insulted, beaten or killed for it.  Ethel is the complete opposite of Mrs. Voorhees.  While Pamela loves Jason with all her heart and has a kindly atmosphere shielding her sinister side, Ethel despises Junior and makes no hesitations to insulting her son.  She also makes it well known of her intentions to keep Pinehurst closed whilst Pamela's intentions were only known after their death.  They of course were killed off, so that rules them out.

Then we have Tommy.  Not much has changed about him (Save for the actor.). He is still tormented by Jason even from beyond the grave and hallucinates his foe.  To make matters worse, his sister isn't around, so he has to face his demons alone. Then when he sees "Jason" he wasn't sure if he was hallucinating again and when "Jason" cuts him that snaps him back....sort of.  While he does make a few friends in Pam and Reggie, he doesn't really interact with them in the slightest.  He distances himself as his hallucinations and trauma becomes more severe.  Hell he barely speaks throughout the entire film.  It was almost as if he was literally becoming Jason like Zito originally intended.

Last we have Roy Burns.  the concept is rather clever, but poorly executed.  He serves as not only an expy for Jason, but for Pamela Voorhees as well as his motivation for killing was the death of his son.  Though as nonsensical as his killings were, in a profiler's perception, it makes perfect sense.  The two Greasers he kills were practice kills, so he could see if he had the stomach to commit murder.  The other two were to make it so Tommy was a suspect as he knew one of them.  Then the real killings began when he killed the rest.  He had a bunch of clippings in his wallet, so it was obvious he knew about Jason and the people he affected.  So knowing Tommy well enough to frame him was a smart move and disguising himself as Jason would just make Tommy look more crazy, if he did survive long enough to tell a cop.  However it worked too well.

The last movie in the trilogy is well known for being one of the few horror Sequels that have improved after the Sequelitius phase: Jason Lives.  Tommy is finally released and along with a friend named Hawes, goes to Forest Green Cemetery.  As the residents were sick of the Jason legend, they changed the name from Crystal Lake.  It is then and there Tommy reveals his plan to burn Jason's body, as he found out it wasn't cremated.  He hopes this will end his nightmares once and for all.  Upon unearthing his old foe, Tommy has another psychotic episode and promptly stabs the corpse with a broken fence pole.  Said fence pole gets struck by lightning and brings Jason to life. More powerful than ever, Jason proceeds to kill Hawes and leave his corpse in his coffin, while making his journey back to his home turf.  Tommy tries to warn the local Sheriff, but upon hearing his name, Sheriff Garris believes Tommy is crazy and locks him in jail.  It was in the next morning that Tommy meets a group of camp counselors lead by Megan Garris, The Sheriff's daughter.  Tommy of course tries to warn them, but if falls on deaf ears.  Garris promptly tries to banish Tommy from Forest Green.  I am not gonna name the rest because they literally have no personality, not even token ones....well except Megan as she is the classic "Rebel teen never listens to strict father or any authority figures."  Anywho Jason makes it back to the summer camp where he drowned and proceeds to kill the counselors one by one.  However there is an extra danger in there, because unlike the other movies, where the camp is abandoned, this one is up and running and with kids.  Tommy of course is once again a suspect as he tries to both clear his name and stop Jason once and for all.  In the end Tommy manages to put Jason in his place literally as he chains his body to the bottom of Crystal Lake. 

This particular sequel becomes a self parody, while at the same time raises the stakes of danger. Even poking fun at the horror genre in general. "I seen enough horror movies to know any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly." Being one of the funniest lines.  Tommy himself is more developed in this sequel, as he is more talkative and only prone to one psychotic episode.  He even reverts to his annoying kid persona in one way or another, making fun of Megan's drawings, being perverted even mocking the deputy when he gets out of jail.  Then there is Jason, he is not only back and returned the series into the status quo, but he is more stronger than ever and more durable.  A shovel shatters on his head on impact when his part 3 counterpart would have been knocked out..  Lastly there is the overall plot,  the stakes are higher since he is stalking an up and running summer camp with kids present.  While we as an audience know he never kills kids, the adult characters don't know that which makes their fears not only justified, but equal to a real world parent worried that their child won't make it home.  While each movie separate has their own uniqueness and flaws, all three flow together to form the journey of Tommy Jarvis.  From his horror obsessed preteens, to his catatonic post teens and his near adult normalities.  We can be safe to say he has earned his peace, after a long battle with Jason Voorhees. That is of course until 2009 when he and the other survivors of Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street team up with Bruce Campbell to take on the two title killers, but that's another story.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.  Happy Devil's Night.

Thursday, 24 October 2013


Well with Halloween only 7 days away, I thought I would close this mostly Horror filled month with the movie that started the slasher genre. Halloween has had 8 movies, (one of which didn't have the titular killer but I'll get to that another time.), 2 in the Remake series, an atari game, various comics and a hell of a cult following.  I watched this movie about 4 years ago, I was told it wasn't worth the watch as there was nothing there, no blood, no gore, no reason for the killer to do what he does. I saw it for the first time, on Turner Classic Movies and met this 31 year old movie that had a dark, creepy, emotionally terrifying atmosphere and the darkest of soundtracks, the devil's soundtrack.  I spent two years trying to understand it and another two trying to keep it out of my nightmares, because I what I found behind those traits was purely and simply....scary.  I watched it once and I'll watch it again and try to find how real this could be.  I won't do the sequels and I will explain my reasons in my final thoughts. So anyone commenting, on them before reading the rest should keep their texting fingers shut and their eyes open.

Now the story goes like so.  Halloween Night 1963, in a peaceful town of Haddonfield Illinois was shattered, when 6 year old Michael Myers (No not that one, but he is equally scary.)  murdered his sister Judith in cold blood.  After being caught by his parents, he gets sent to a mental institution.  15 years later, Dr. Sam Loomis, Michael's psychologist at the time arrives at the institution to take Myers to a hearing.  The intention was to keep him locked up for life.  However as he arrives, Myers steals his car and makes his escape and return to Haddonfield.  Myers now dressed in a blue boiler suit and a white mask (a William Shatner Mask to be specific.) Stalks his old neighborhood on the anniversary of his murder.  One by one he kills the teens currently living down the street from the old Myer's house until Laurie Strode (Played by Jamie Lee Curtis.), who happens to be babysitting 2 kids at the time, is the last alive and it's a fight for survival.  At the same time, Loomis and Sheriff Brackett are in hot pursuit of Myers with the intention of putting him down for good.

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life?

This one is a less supernatural one than my most work, but I can give it a go and since it's only thing I am defictionalizing, it's gonna be a short one.

Michael Myers can exist.  Once again I am not talking about the actor, though he is still equally scary.

For starters the person himself was based off a kid director John Carpenter encountered during a field trip. Said trip was in an institution in Kentucky.  This kid was described by Carpenter as having a "Schizophrenic Stare."  A trait that Myers possesses in the entirety of the movie franchise.  Even the shitty Rob Zombie flicks, knew if you wanted to successfully scare someone like Myers, you need the stare.

Now as for Myers himself as crazy as it seems everything that has happened to him, or what he's capable of in the first movie could happen in real life.  From his unnatural strength, to his shrugging off of near fatal or even fatal injuries.

Many Patients with psychotic disorders, specifically Schizophrenia, are capable of inhuman acts.  In fact studies have shown that during a psychotic break would cause a rush in adrenaline and endorphins.  This renders the patient to be able to use the well known Hysterical Strength and also reduces the pain receptors so even the most fatal of wounds wouldn't be able to put them down without a lot of effort.  Take those factors into account and you got the physical aspect of Michael Myers.

As for the mental aspect, that is debatable.  Loomis describes his mentality as " reason, no conscience, no understanding; and even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong."  Now there are many disorders that can describe that, the most common being Antisocial Personality Disorder.  Sociopaths in layman's terms.  Now while it can be debated otherwise, it is pretty common to suffer from more than one mental disorder.  Combine what I mentioned in the physical aspect of Myers and you got yourself a hybrid between Psychopath and Sociopath.

Now for my final thoughts.  The reason I don't take the sequels into account are because they destroy Myers as a character. In the first movie, he had no motive, no reason to do what he did to his sister or to the teens and he doesn't get any satisfaction of killing that killers like Jason or Freddy would get. This in turn made him more scary, because it made him unpredictable.  When the second movie revealed his connection to Laurie as his sister, it made his stalking and killing more personal.  Ergo making him more human than what Loomis initially described.  As if that was bad enough, they gave him a half assed reason to why he never dies, some Celtic curse that requires him to kill his family to balance the universe. Seriously, that was fucking stupid.  H20 at least knew better than to sling that bullshit around.  To put it lightly, he was meant to be the Slasher movie genre's equivalent to Tara Markov and The Joker.  No stable motive, but still a great villain none the less.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More. Happy Halloween.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

S.T. Rants #1: The 2 Step Program

This is a bit of a minor rant.  After watching shows like Breaking Bad, The Shining and pretty much any joke that involves drug and alcohol rehab,  I couldn't help but wonder about the classic 12 Step Program: 12 Steps by Alcoholic's Anonymous, as a way of trying to beat alcoholism and other addictions. Right now as I am typing this I am reading up said program out of curiousity as I myself am a drinker.  Not a -holic, but I'm Irish and Scottish, it goes with the territory.  Some of these rules seem reasonable, such as apologizing to who you hurt during drunken episodes.  However then there is these rules, such as Step 2, accepting a higher power will directly cure you.  This I call bullshit on.  Now I myself believe in Higher Powers, I am Pagan Wicca. However, I also believe said Higher Powers have better things to do than cure something that people choose to do.  Yes addiction is bad and can affect you psychologically however despite all that, it's still has to do with choice.  You choose to get hooked and yo choose to get off the hook.  The other thing I call bullshit on is that many of these steps are mainly just differently worded versions of Step two. Don't believe me read for yourself I'll even mark the parts that are the same.

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
With the exception of the obvious step 2, there are 6 sayings that either point to God, A Higher Power, prayer, or Spiritual Awakening. Take all that away plus step 2, and you got 5 steps.  Which while more understandable and reasonable are still pretty pointless.  8 and 9 are just 1 step split into 2. So that leaves 4 steps Step 10 is pointless, because when applying to organizations like A.A. you already admitted you were wrong and wanted to change your life. So that makes 3 now. Step 1 is also pointless because you made that step when you applied.  Admitting you are an addict, is also admitting you are powerless against your addiction.  That makes 2. Moral Inventory and Making amends.  Those 2 are also pointless because when you do apply to A.A., you are already making amends by trying to get rid of what you think is hurting the people you have hurt.  The moral inventory is pointless because, when you are trying to kick your addiction you are already setting a moral for yourself and those that look up to you.

After reading this, I come to the conclusion that I do not believe in the twelve step program.  I do on the other hand believe in the 2 step program which is introduced like so.

Step 1: Stop Drinking. No seriously, put that bottled down or whatever it is you have an addiction to.  Throw it away, and lock yourself in a room for a few days with nothing but your basic meals.  If you can go 3 days without booze, drugs and or any other habits you are willing to kick, you beaten it forever.  Beware of any withdrawals as they can affect the body and mind.  It's like that movie, Trainspotting, where the guy kicking heroin saw a dead baby crawl on the ceiling and twist it's head all the way around.

And Step 2: Why the hell are you still Drinking?

See where I am going with this, it's not the booze, it's not the drugs, its not even spending too much time playing WoW.  It's your choice, your consequences.  No Higher Power is gonna help you unless you help yourself.  Why? Because Higher Powers aren't dictators that force you to do what they want when they want it.  They are Parents, Teachers and even religious figures and all they can do is show you the door.  You have to choose to open it.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More. 

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Top 5 Underrated Stephen King Adaptations

If you been around this blog for a while you know I am a huge fan of Stephen King.  I got introduced to it, by an old collection of books my mother had. That collection soon became mine, but some of them were too worn out to read save for a few new ones I bought for her 3 years ago. My personal favorites out of them being Carrie and Christine.  Now that the new version of the former is out and since Halloween is a week away I want to do another tribute.  This time to the most Overlooked, Underrated adapations that very few have either seen and if they have, didn't care much for it. Why? Because I think they deserve a little love.

5. The Langoliers:
This one barely survived thanks to a combined effort of Bronson "Balki" Pinchot's over the top performance and the Nostalgia Critic's review.  I didn't even know of it's existence, until watching said review and upon watching this miniseries, I loved every minute of it. The story goes like so, a group of passengers find themselves waking up to an empty airplane. Upon landing they find more strange happenings and try to figure out what's behind it all.  Crappy CGI aside the pacing was actually pretty good and you really feel fear from their isolation. I won't describe anymore than that as the rest you have to see for yourself.

4. Tommyknockers:
Now this one I was aware of, but could never find anything on it until NC's review of said miniseries.  This tale is all about a radiation emitting spaceship, increasing the intelligence of everyone in Haven (Yes that Haven.) Maine.  While in the process making them more aggressive beings.  I love it mostly, because much of their dependence of their brain boosters realistically mirrors real life addictions; from the user staying awake beyond what the body can allow to said body decaying. That and drunk Gardner (who you recognize for being Princess Leia's adoptive father.)  is hilarious, especially when he does it on purpose knowing what damage he might do. As well as the miniseries having a better twist than the book itself which is Rare among adaptations.

3. The Stand:
Many people know this one and hate it. Mostly because there were a lot of heavy changes from the book to the movie.  But what do you expect, when said book (One of the few not in my collection.) is as long as the Tolken series it was inspired by?  A super flu infects all of the world, causing all but a select few to die off.  Said few divide themselves between Boulder Colorado, which is mostly a peaceful Town trying to bring civilization back to it's peak; and Las Vegas full of Anarchists, low lives and Arsonists.  It is a classic tale of good versus evil and much like the book it was based off of, it introduces a recurring villain in the King franchise: Randall Flagg. Played by Jamey Sheridan.  Speaking of which I hear there is gonna be a Dark Tower movie.  If they don't get Sheridan to reprise this role, they better get someone who can top it. I also like it due to a certain song in the soundtrack: The Beginning of The End, By W.G. Snuffy. That song is modern day Medieval personified.

2. Maximum Overdrive:
Many people dislike this movie, even King and Star Yeardley "Lisa Simpson" Smith consider it an old shame. However, there are certain things about it that make it worth the watch. Loosely adapted from "Trucks" A local truck stop is being held hostage by the world's technology.  Everything from Cars, Trucks, Electronic devices and the like have come to life and are pissed off.  The movie is worth it for 3 factors: 1. Stephen King himself gets called an asshole by an ATM. 2. It's one of a few movies that has the guts to show kids getting killed. 3. AC/DC.  The third factor especially caused the Angry Video Game Nerd, to give the movie a full 5 star rating. This in turn inspired a meme that shows any movie from Disney Princess to Harry Potter can be awesome when AC/DC is in the soundtrack.  King you may not like this movie, but we love the monster it created. 

1. The Shining Miniseries:
Ok this is gonna take some explaining.  There are two adaptations of The Shining.  One is the well received Kubrick Adaptation and the other is a less well received unless your a purist Miniseries.  How did this happen?  King himself never liked Kubrick's version, it was actually one of the first adaptions of his work that he was ashamed of. So taking matters into his own hands, King along with director Mick Garris who worked with him again in Bag of Bones; created a 3 episode miniseries that was more faithful to the book.  The story was all about recovering alcoholic, Jack Torrance who takes his family to the Overlook Hotel, to which he is hired as a Caretaker.  What they don't know is said hotel is haunted by a malevolent force that is after his son, Danny; who has an incredible psychic gift that allows him to see said force.  Now here is where the problem lies.  Kubirck's version while scary, was less faithful to the book, making everything ambiguous: Are the ghosts real or are the Torrances insane?  Was Jack Crazy the whole time or was it the booze?  (With the exception of the hedge maze, Kubrick wanted to have Topiary animals, but couldn't find a way to bring them to life. So props to him for trying.)  The story in the movie, became less Stephen King's The Shining and more Stanley Kubrick's the Shining.  I myself knew of the Shining by watching the Kubrick version, then reading the book.  Upon reading it, I myself was pissed off because so many crucial elements to the book were ripped out, such as why the ghosts were after Danny and how they were able to get Jack drunk again.  As well as the overall tone.  Both the book and miniseries played off more as a horror/drama, with the supernatural elements just being incidental like a normal day at work with everything being straightforward.  And that's probably why the Kubrick side of the coin hated the miniseries.  When you make something straightforward, yes it bores people, but it also helps them understand what is really going on, but when you make it ambiguous it let's the viewer not only decide what happened, but also scare them when they don't know.  However despite my understanding of why Kubrick's is more well liked, I am gonna have to side with King on this one. Mainly because regardless of what version people liked, it started with King.  Kubrick fans need to accept that without King, their movie wouldn't even be made, whilst King fans need to understand that if not for the Kubrick version, they wouldn't have something to fight for.  That being said I can't wait until Doctor Sleep is adapted. Having Danny battling the things he's been running away from is gonna be awesome.

As usual, debate argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.

Thursday, 17 October 2013

Interstella 5555

I love this movie.  I can't really explain why.  It started out as just a few music videos put together, but then it became a full story involving, kidnapping, alien fantasy and Daft Punk.  I unofficially heard the first song on the album when I was about 9 or 10 it was playing on the bus heading for a school I went to.  Said school was hell, but this was one of the happier memories of my childhood.  I officially heard Daft Punk during Much Music's Video On Trial, they did a review of one of their first songs "Da Funk" But I didn't hear a full album of their music until Tron Legacy.  This on the otherhand was Daft Punk's equivalent to The Wall only their story made more sense.

In the far reaches of space, there lived a race of humanoid aliens. They looked like us, but had Jetson style clothing and Smurf Skin.. The main protagonists are a nameless rock band, that entertain the masses in a never ending party.  The party is cut short when a group of humans incapacitate and capture the band and take them through a wormhole, that leads them to earth. Then and there, they become humanfaced and brainwashed into working concerts by Earl De Darkwood; a manager obsessed with getting gold records.  They are then renamed, The Crescendolls:  Stella the Bassist, Arpegius the guitarist, Baryl the drummer and Octave the Keyboardist/Vocalist.  However the result leaves them overworked and on the brink of exhaustion.  Meanwhile back in space, Shep, the only blue guy that actually had a name, catches wind of the kidnapping by his planet's guards.  He hightails after them in his own guitar shaped ship, mostly out of his near stalkerish crush on Stella.  He makes it and manages to free the band save for Stella, who he couldn't get to in time. Shep gets wounded as they make their escape and the rest of the band race to get Stella out of Earl's clutches. Upon rescuing her, they discover a horrible truth behind Earl's scheme and try to stop him.

Now for the fun part, Could It Exist In Real Life?

Now if you been around long enough you'd know I said time and again, that there is no proof of alien life, let alone humanoid alien life. However if it did exist what better way to hide it through today's musicians.  That's right folks. While there is no evidence to state it, this movie flat out says that every great Gold Record worthy musician from Mozart's time to now is an alien.  Which if that is proven true would explain why the music is so powerful.

The next thing is Earl's Scheme.  In the Veridis Quo segment, the Crescendolls discover that Earl has been trying to harness the power of golden records.  He does this, by sacrificing the musicians to a machine mix of technology and alchemy and in turn, harness their power into golden records.  Earl needs 5555 records in order to be powerful enough to take over the universe. Hence the title. While this machine does not exist, the concept behind it does.  Music is a very powerful weapon.  It has been used to alter various courses of history.  From the classical days to now, we either have a genre to love or have one to hate. Either way because of it, some of us strive to be musicians in order to either pay tribute to the things we listen to, or top off the ones we don't like. Music can be used for good or in Earl's case pure evil depending on the motive.

Last but not least, the two robotic musicians that attended the gold record ceremony. They not only exist, but they are the only thing I written about that are exactly the same as their movie counterparts.  They are Daft Punk.  That is exactly what they look like when out in public.

As usual debate, argue and let me know what I missed. Stay Tuned For More and don't forget to read this One More Time.

Sunday, 13 October 2013

El Laberinto Del Fauno Aka The Labyrinth of The Faun Aka Pan's Labyrinth

What happens when the director of Hellboy and Blade 2 does his own original thing?  He entertains and scares the crap out of more people.  Pan's Labrynth was very influential by combining the horrors of war, with the dark whimsy of fairy tales and in the end gave us more questions about the movie, but in a good way. It also gained its fame, as being one of the first few trailers in the world to fool us into thinking we were seeing a kid's movie.  Ya.....we were idiots to think an adult themed director would do something like that. -insert Martin Scorsese Hugo Joke Here-.  I first saw this movie in film class, it was one of the few foreign language movies I could ever watch from beginning to end.  I am not culturally insensitive or anything, I just like dubbed movies better in that department.  But ya one of the few I seen beginning to end.  Needless to say I liked it. Since I like this movie I do warn spoilers and like NIMH forbid you to read further until you do. If you don't the Pale Man will get you.

The story begins in 1944 WWII was a year away from closing, but Spain had it's own civil war problem. Ofelia, a fairy tale obsessed girl, along with her mother and soon to be born baby brother are to meet her stepfather, Captain Vidal.  Or as I like to call him Spanish Bizarro Hitler.  Why?  I'll tell you later.  Anywho during their stay at the compound, Vidal has his own problems. As the rebels are stealing supplies from his compound and he suspects inside jobs.  During a routine interrogation, you will see why I call him Spanish Bizarro Hitler.  He brutally murders two innocent hunters who were accused of being members of the rebels. Ofelia during her stay is visited by a fairy who leads her into an ancient labyrinth, where she meets a faun who claims she is really Moanna, a princess who came from the underworld out of curiosity of the surface world.  However in order to go back to the underworld, she must pass three tests before the next full moon. The first test being that she make a giant toad throw up a key.  (I'm surprised said toad didn't try to eat her, but I guess her princess...ness.  Shields her from harm.)  The second to use said Key and a chalk that turns any surface drawn on with it into doors, to find the lair of the Pale Man: an evil Child Eating beast who guards a door to a dagger. While all this is going on her mother's condition is worsening, two rebel spies (one of which is a close friend to Ofelia) are close to being found out and Vidal is going insane.  All of the subplots come crashing together as Ofelia prepares for the final test.

Now for the fun part.  Could It Exist In Real Life?

First let's start with the Labyrinth. While this particular one does not exist. There are real Labyrinths all over the world.  Some of which have decayed, to the point where they are easily navigated.

Second are the creatures, the fairies as I stated before are elementals. However something about them as well as the overall world has me think of a theory I won't say until the conclusion. The Faun also exists in myth.  Most famously in greek myths is the God Pan which the English title derives itself of.  Pan himself was of all thing referred to as a friend to the Nymphs another name fairies have gone by.  Is it no coincidence that the fairies are this Faun's companions throughout the movie?  Lastly there is the Pale Man.  He does exist in a way. But he is not based on any ancient myth or legend.  Oh no, he is much much worse.  The Pale Man is based on an ongoing legend passed down from parent to child since the beginning of storytelling.  He is....the Bogey man and how was he able to get from place to place?  Why Ofelia gave him the way through that chalk I mentioned.  The one that turns every surface drawn on it into a door.  Nice job breaking it Heroine. Last but not least is the Mandrake, which Ofelia used to keep her mother alive.  It does exist.  Infact it's been used a lot in wicca and other occult organizations. 

Third is the interpretation of the story.  What I said aside. Guillermo Del Toro made it very ambiguous to whether or not the fantasy scenes were real, or Ofelia's imagination running wild to cope with her living situation.  Even Del Toro decided to fuck with our minds by saying that he believed the fairies were real.  However I take the third option that it's both.  For you see, the world and it's creatures are called Tulpa's.  A Tulpa is a manifestation, created by the mind and the senses using intense concentration.  However once created unless, others have helped, only the creator of said Tulpa/s can see it.   There was a particular scene that proved such.  In the beginning of the movie, Ofelia spotted a stick insect which she thought was a fairy.  Said stick insect visited her in her mothers bed later that night and she showed it a pictorial representation of what a fairy looked like to her.  The insect then changed into said representation.  Later on in the climax of the film she was arguing with the Faun on whether or not her brother should be sacrificed in order to get her home into the underworld.  Moments before Vidal killed her, he could only see her and the baby she was holding, but not the Faun she was talking to. Lastly, after she died she was welcomed into the underworld, as she imagined it with her mother and father as they looked like in the real world welcoming her to sit with them on the throne.

Now for my final thought. By now you are probably wondering why I called Vidal "Spanish Bizarro Hitler"? That's because he is just as ruthless as Hitler, however unlike Hitler he does his own dirty work, he tortures prisoners with his own set of tools and during the war scenes has fought along side his men when he could have stayed behind.  As for the overall movie itself. It's a good watch and I recommend it to everyone.

As usual, debate, argue and let me know what I missed.  Stay Tuned For More.

Also added bonus to Stephen King. Why? Because if Del Toro can make a movie that could make King squirm, he can scare anyone.